A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: years had bulling and rejection.missing out on love because of rejection. people who rejected me always find love the likes of me does n,t .has left me with a lot of problems.i have being going counselling since i was 6 years old.i see other people who can find love and be happy but not me.i suffer from depression,low self esteem, social problems,scared of people, intimacy problems,always rejected,i am also very over weight,ugly face,chubby, crooked eye, crooked yellow teeth,bad hair,i have being called names, threading ,attack,bulled,left suicidal.i went to the doctor he was no i went counsellors they were no help either.all i ever wanted is to be loved by some one instead i have being called names and rejected and told i wasn,t good enough,and guys tell how good all they ex girlfriends were and how i would n,t qualify and i was nothing but waste of there time and energy .i never even got my first kiss and let alone my first boyfriend and always the outcast at school,i am going crazy from being alone and unwanted.my mother does n,t understand my pain and loneliness.is there any eles out there who is like me with thses peoblems
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 This is such a tricky situation to answer, but I'd like to give it a go and it's not my intention to hurt your feelings or make you feel worse because I can tell from your words that you feel wretched and upset and afraid.To me it seems you have built a wall around yourself. Maybe to shut out all the injustice and fear that you feel about how people have treated you. You have stated that people have bullied you and rejected you and believe me thats a shitty thing to cope with...no wonder you now have huge emotional walls surrounding you. The other problem seems that from inside your walls, you have and enemy attacking you...and that person is yourself.You relayed a staggering list of faults that you have, i.e. you think you dont look right, you think your overweight, bad hair, low self esteem. I wonder if you ever give yourself a break from feeling this way?...its little wonder you feel so depressed.You have stacked the odds so insurmountably against your favour, its enough to send you over the edge!!When your faced with a situation where you feel there is no hope, sometimes its the smallest thing that can turn things around and when you cannot find the help you need from people around you, then you have to help yourself.Have you ever read the serenity prayer?; part of it says:'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference'I guess my advice would be to try to work on the things you can change in yourself. Losing weight, getting a new haircut and so forth, might not change your life immediately but they are things you can do something about and they will give you confidence...and that could lead to other things.Finding love and acceptance from others is more tricky and yep there are some seriously nasty people out there who can make anyone feel bad about themselves. Don't set yourself up for a fall and try not to dwell on the issue of love. Unfortunately we are bombarded with the idea that we can only be happy with a significant other and YES it's great if you find someone, but it all starts with yourself.You have to be the best you can be and its isnt all about image. The world is full of all kinds of people, some quite plain and ordinary, some with disabilities and some with mental health disorders, some with terrible lives but amongst them are a substantial number that have enjoyed loving and caring relationships.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd-2Tyw-eF4Please watch this vid by Nick Vujicic, listen to what he says 'It's a lie to think your not good enough, it's a lie to think your not worth anything'It is our own responsibility to work on our own happiness. Not all happiness comes from relationships and not all happiness comes from looking a certain way. Focus and work with what you've got to build your confidence, positive thinking goes a very long way and can bring about small victories that can make a huge difference.You are never alone when you have yourself and only by loving yourself can you be truly worthy of loving others.Best of luck to you and I hope you find some peace.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): please help me.can ugly and fat person like me ever find happiness?
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