A
male
age
41-50,
*eren
writes:I can almost know for certain that my girlfriend will forget my birthday happening in 10 days. I know I will be upset about it. Should I somehow hint it to her? Or just wait to see what happens.I started saying this girl in Japan, 5months ago. Unfortunately my contract finished and I had to go back to my home country. We made plans for her to come to my country in a years time. Sometimes I get the feeling she isn't 100 percent into me. Though she does tell me she loves me and misses. So I put it down to me being insecure cuz she's a cute girl. Problem is she probably doesn't know my birthday. But it's all on facebook! She's not a big user of it tho. I doubt she's sent a present by mail. And chances are she'll forget to say anything.Advice needed thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): There are some unfair games in relationships. One is expecting your partner to be a mindreader. Another is setting them up to fail. Not to mention that testing your partner in itself destroys the trust which is essential to a relationship.Your plan of unfair treatment of your girlfriend, with an aim to hurt her, does make me wonder is you are 100% into her.So no, you should not hint. You should tell her openly. You should apologise, explaining that you only just realised that she probably doesn't know your birthday and that you haven't left enough time for her to mail you a present. That is, if there is any blame then it is yours for the lack of thinking ahead. Then you should make sure to get her birthdate :-)In a LDR the important trick is to both lead interesting lives, but to share those lives with each other. So go ahead an have a great birthday and then make sure to share that with her.It's much better in a LDR to only give token presents for birthdays and Christmas, but to share more meaningful presents as you encounter interesting items you know they'll like, which they'll never see locally, and which will show that they are foremost in your thoughts.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 No, do not remind her.
You barely started a relationship and went long distance. It may be feeling strained due to the LDR.
There really wasnt enough of an investment in each other to start expecting things like remembering Birthdays.
It sounds like your Bday is a big deal to you-so make plans with local friends and family. Consider any time or present someone gives you a GIFT and not an obligation.
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