A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 years old, my housemate (male) is the same age. I've never really been attracted to him really, he's always been "just a friend"Anyhow, we got REALLY drunk a few nights ago and ended up chatting until gone 4am when we went to his room. He started kissing me, I responded. Then we got to trying to have sex (his suggestion) It was on at first but then after around 2/3 minutes he went limp "down there" We didn't try again, I ended up going back to my own room. Now things are a little awkward and I can't help feeling like it was my fault? Like I wasn't "good" or "stimulating" enough (though I've never had this problem previously) I feel I was probably a bit "boring" I guess my question is just, generally, what do you think of this? My fault? His? Neither? Drink. I'm just a little confused and disappointed right now!Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): We have a song in the States where we "blame it on the alcohol." You may also say fate stepped in; because you shouldn't be engaging in sex unless you are in control of your faculties; and take all the necessary steps to practice safe-sex.
The fact you blame yourself is evidence you have very little experience with sex, you may not be on birth-control, and you were acting on impulse. This can all lead to disaster; if no precautions have been taken to prevent pregnancy, or transmission of an STD.
You were just a couple of young people caught up in a moment; and there is no blame to to placed on anyone. You got him aroused to the point to want to do something; but the alcohol decommissioned his willie. Not you.
Don't worry about the awkwardness. If you'll stop making a big deal of it; it will fade away like the hangovers the day after willie went limp.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 September 2013):
 Doubt it was your "fault" at all.
He was tired and drunk, which can easily end up in a "can't stay hard" episode.
I'd let it go. If you two get drunk again, don't try and have sex. Wait til you are both sober and both want it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): O, please, it's never a woman's fault, men can be hard even with someone who they don't even like physically. It's alcogol deffinitely. Many men go limp under influence or are not able to finish, nothing wrong with u
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (29 September 2013):
 Almost certainly the alcohol. It's astonishing how a few drinks can make something seem like a really great idea -- and what those drinks can do to a guy's performance. If he was really drunk he probably didn't evaluate what you were doing as 'boring', 'hot', or anything in between. He might have realized he was about to mess up a good friendship. Let it go.
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