A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After a 6yr relationship my boyfriend broke up with me by text. That was 4 months ago now, the first 2 months were hard. I got run down and was ill for a few weeks. Ive been really upset, its been a rough time for me. Over the last few months i have found out more about whats really been happening, things he couldnt admit to me then. I accepted to break up because i knew things were not great between us but i still loved him he was my best friend. Sometimes feeling more of a close friend than a boyfriend anymore. I didnt want him to be unhappy.Ive since found out he left me for someone else, he was seeing her straight away after finishing with me. And it is hard to see them together out with friends and family that i knew, that i saw my future with. I feel like ive been replaced, it really hurts. I do want him to be happy but im not happy. Its so hard somedays now im on my own, i am moving on but realise it will take time, the advice around seems to say talk to friends but dont wear them out! or dont be too miserable! which is rubbish. So it seems its like move on, get over it, deal with it on your own basically and dont bother other people about it too much!. I dont want to be on my own. but have little choice. I have a quiet family who dont do anything together, no friends because everyone i knew was his friends so they will keep on his side. Ive lost contact with anyone i knew over the years since college. Im a nice girl, i havent done anything terrible for people to not like me, its just a shame im in this situation. I know its advised to join a group, but i have tried a social group, went to a few events so far but it is hard having to go to these things all on my own, last time i went someone took an interest in me, i wasnt prepared or ready for this, he was a nice guy but i wasnt interested in him like that. I havent been to the groups events since, i know ive avoided it thinking if he was there, i dont want to feel uncomfortable when trying to make new friends. But i plan to go to an event again next week. Im 27 and i have also joined a online dating site, I hope things will get better for me sooner rather than later to be honest! just want to get my life back and feel happy again but at the minute im just not sure how to do this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your replys, Ive been single for 4 months now and have good days and bad days, how can i watch while someone replaces me, while my friends, the family i knew and loved are accepting this new girlfriend of my ex. its heartbreaking. I want to get out there to enjoy myself but its hard when your all alone,ive joined some social groups which are good but i dont feel im making real friends yet. people who promised to go out with me have never contacted me, do i contact them? i feel like why should i bother if they dont contact me. i feel like people who i had been out with where just meeting up with me to get the gossip, to see what happened to me. I dont feel ready to go on any dates, ive had a couple of guys ask me out but im not interest in them. i dont like my life anymore and im not sure what to do about it, i dont want to live with my parents anymore, but not sure if i can rent a place on my own, because its expensive and also i dont want to be on my own.Ive got in a bad habit of texting my ex when im upset and lonely. because he is the only person who really knows me.i know its wrong, but he does reply to me, i wouldnt want him back, i know its wrong and i wont be friends with him after how he treated me.but it helps to have some contact with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Hey, i am in a very similar situation, i'm 26 in a few weeks, so a similar age. Me and my ex were together for 5,5 years. Anyway we broke up in 2007 and i met someone else who was amazing, i was seeing him for quite a while. My ex wanted to get back together so we did. By the end of the relationship we still spent loads of time together but it was more best friends than anything else. He felt intimidated now because he knew i had fancied the other guy so much, he felt inadequate. We argued a lot and then split up mutually but it was hard. I found out 4 months later that he was now with someone else. It then transpired that he had got with her a few weeks after we had broke up. I know that he wasn't seeing her before we split, he works with her though. He was too into me to of ever cheated. Anyway it has annoyed me, i hope they break up which is awful, he's lied to me about lots of things and lead me on in the last few months. It's awful when someone you really cared for seems to forget about you and does all the same things with someone else. Why them and not me kind of thing. Really knocks your self esteem even though logically you know it makes sense. I have no idea what the answer is. Being left behind sucks, i feel vulnerable and bitter. :/
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A
female
reader, laratea +, writes (17 August 2010):
Hey, i am in a very similar situation, i'm 26 in a few weeks, so a similar age. Me and my ex were together for 5,5 years. Anyway we broke up in 2007 and i met someone else who was amazing, i was seeing him for quite a while. My ex wanted to get back together so we did. By the end of the relationship we still spent loads of time together but it was more best friends than anything else. He felt intimidated now because he knew i had fancied the other guy so much, he felt inadequate. We argued a lot and then split up mutually but it was hard. I found out 4 months later that he was now with someone else. It then transpired that he had got with her a few weeks after we had broke up. I know that he wasn't seeing her before we split, he works with her though. He was too into me to of ever cheated. Anyway it has annoyed me, i hope they break up which is awful, he's lied to me about lots of things and lead me on in the last few months. It's awful when someone you really cared for seems to forget about you and does all the same things with someone else. Why them and not me kind of thing. Really knocks your self esteem even though logically you know it makes sense. I have no idea what the answer is. Being left behind sucks, i feel vulnerable and bitter. :/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Hey It will be difficult for a while but it gets easier just dont rush into another relationship untill you are completly over whats happened, thats the mistake I made and had a whirl wind romance for 9 months with another guy 1year later im back at square one trying to come to terms with losing the love of my life I haven't yet got over. Fortunately I have good friends who I dont want to burden but are always there to lift me up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Forget this guy he was a coward anyway,get out there and enjoy life
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): at this moment another relationship may not be the best thing. wait till ur mind is in neutral mode.
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