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anonymous
writes: Hi there!Was just wondering if anybody could give me some advice on this problem i have...I work once a week with this girl, who over the last few months I've come to realise I really like and would really like to go out with her. Trouble is that I'm 18 and she is too but she is 6 months older than me, and girls don't tend to go for younger guys. Also so far I haven't really made that favourable an impression with her, and i doubt shes ever looked at me as a love interest. But i really like her personality and also think she is very attractive, so I can't seem to let it drop.Please help! I want to be with her, but 1) Don't know how to ask her as I'm quite shy and scared of being rejected and 2) I don't want to make it too awkward for us, as we have to work together.Thank you
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male
reader, fraser836 +, writes (18 June 2006):
Just bloody do it. I was like you but I lost my chance but I was lucky enough to have another chance and when i got it again I took it.Now I'm in a lovins relationship with my girl
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 January 2005):
 Hi there,I think it's sweet that you want to ask this girl out, and sweeter still that you worry about the six-months' age difference, which is, in real terms, absolutely negligible. If you think about the situation objectively, you'll see that there's really no way that it's an issue. She's hardly going to ask for your ID card before she considers accepting, right? "Hmmm. Why, this driver's licence says you were born in May! That makes you almost six months younger than me. I'm appalled; I really am. How dare you ask me out, you young whippersnapper! Don't you know that I outrank you?" No. That's not going to happen.So take a deep breath and have a go. It's not that hard to ask and her perceived level attractiveness doesn't even enter into the equation. Beautiful women like to asked out just as much as plain ones. You just need to make an offer that sounds appealing and fun. For a first date, make it something lightweight, like a concert, a movie or a friendly party. Say something along the lines of: "I was planning on going to see (a movie) on Friday night and I thought it would be much more fun if you'd like to go with me. As kind of a date, if you want, or as friends, if you like that idea better." The point is, you just want her to say yes, so you can get to know each other, OK? Going as friends rather than complicating things with a possible romance is a perfectly acceptable way to do that. Hopefully, she will say yes, so have a time in mind and let her know if you're planning on paying, so she knows where she stands.If she declines (hopefully she's a kind enough person to be gracious - and if she's not, you wouldn't have wanted to be around her anyway), resolve that one rejection doesn't make you a bad person. Not one person is attractive to every member of the other sex, so don't be hurt if it happens. Smile and carry on and keep in mind that, if you handle it well and can still be friendly at work, she may well see your positive characteristics in your response and reconsider your invitation sometime down the track.As to any future awkwardness, remember, you're not asking her to become the Queen of Your Heart; it's just a simple invitation to get to know you better. You needn't feel awkward if she says she's-not-interested-but-thanks-anyway. Your response in that case would be to smile and say, "Oh, OK. It was just a thought. Maybe some other time." See? You're in control of whether it's uncomfortable or not.Hope that this helps.
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