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anonymous
writes: i have recently split up with a guy of a year who i thought was mr right nine weeks ago am really hurt and want him back but he wont cooperate, i find myself wanting to call him or text him every day and feel like i have no self control over this its not the right way to go about things but i cant seem to resist these thoughts, i dream about him every night and i cant foret about him.... whats going on!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2005): First of all, I am going through that feeling right now. I want to call him or text him or something but I thought --what if he is mean to me or rude. I will feel so stupid. My story is a bit different than yours though. We had a sexual relationship for over two years. He came back around when I moved on, back and forth. It sucked. I found myself in love with a man who was just playing games. He was sleeping with other girls, while at the same time, I was sleeping only with him and falling deeper in love each time. He moves away and is so mean to me. Fast forward to a YEAR AND A HALF later, we run into each other at a friend's wedding. My oh my, did those feelings come back. I got drunk and of course we slept together that night several, several, several times and again that morning while we were both sober. He even hung around and talked to me after sex and playfully pinched my butt, tickled me, and rubbed my back as we were departing ways. At first, he protested about sleeping with me. He didn't want too but eventually we did, with him saying to me, "you are so sexy". He knows how I feel and he obviously showed signs of feeling the same, otherwise why would he have protested. FREE ASS-what man would turn that down unless feeling were involved. So here it is 5 months later and I have heard NOTHING from him. I want so badly to pick up the phone and find out why he slept with me knowing how I felt. I have so many unanswered questions. I am in single land afraid to move on while he is out partying it up. WHY CALL HIM? Because I love him. And love my friend, is more powerful than pride. Life is to short not to act on what you feel.............do what you feel is right. If you call him and he is rude to you---------cry, vent, feel stupid,do what you need to do. But I promise you this: One day, he will look back on all his exes and you will definately be in his thoughts one way or the other............and that is when he may call you and you will say---SORRY-I met someone else--GO TO HELL~~~ I pray it works out for you............good luck. and DO WHAT YOU WANT.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 January 2005):
 Hi there,What's going on is that you were with him for a year, but you've only been split up for a few weeks. Now you're going through a perfectly normal stage of regret about the loss. The feeling will fade with time, but you can help things along by not allowing yourself to be a drama queen, obsessing about him and pretending to yourself that dreams are portentious. Instead, focus on the reasons that you split up in the first place. One or the other of you must have been pretty unhappy with the other for you to break up. Think about all the reasons you drifted apart. When you start to feel the urge to call or text him, stop and picture him getting that message. He'll be thinking, "Oh *$%#. Here we go again. Can't she understand that I've moved on?" If he'd wanted to get back together, he'd have responded in kind. Since you don't indicate that he's showing interest in getting back together, I'm guessing he hasn't. You'll have to deal with that. It isn't the end of the world; it's just the end of one relationship. Believe me, you can cope.It may be a hoary old chestnut that "time heals all wounds", but it's hoary and old and people keep quoting it for a simple reason: it's true. In another month or two or three you'll find that whole days go by without anything reminding you of him. Dreams don't mean anything; put them out of your mind. And although you won't soon "forget" about him (any more than you would forget anyone you've known for a year or so), this will all seem much less important to you as time goes on. This is particularly true if you get out and do interesting things with your friends in the meantime. Go to parties, see friends you haven't seen in ages, get out and meet new men. Never overlook the fact that there are lots and lots of men in the world; if you stop worrying about the one who doesn't want you you'll find it a lot easier to move on.Hope that this helps.
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