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male
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anonymous
writes: Why do people ALL of a sudden wanna rush into marriage, kids, "the works". I'm only 22 and most of my mates are asking when you gonna find "a chick" "mess around alittle", what is this WAR on the singles? I'm not in any relationship and I'm not LOOKING for one at the moment, I don't feel ready and I don't want to rush things and regret it later, who knows I might not get married, might even not want relationships with woman, perhaps men? I dunno, but I hate the way that people are rushing me, as if I must move it, what must i DO?tHANX fRUSTRATED. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): Don't rush! You COULD try to think up some good wise cracks for the next time someone makes a comment to rush you. When someone says you should find a nice girl to settle down with, say "Why only one? Wouldn't it be better to find 3 or 4 so one can do the dishes, one the laundry, one to cook, and so on???" Hahaha! Or If they say "Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet" You could say, yeah, that's why I was thinking about getting a cat, that way I could put some little shoes on it to hear the pitter-patter without being woken up at 3am for feedings and having to get a second job just to afford diapers, or CHANGING diapers for that matter, those things are NASTY... not to mention having to pay for clothes and school supplies." (It would really help if you did a little research and find out how much more school costs will be in 18-20 years and drop that bomb on them too.) That way when they ask, you'll be telling them to mind their own business without being overly rude, PLUS it may even give your friends something to think about too!You could also try telling them that although you appreciate their concern, it is YOUR life and you will settle down with someone when and IF you ever decide to. And they can just bugger off and mind their own business!Good luck!!!
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (28 January 2006):
 Who cares what other peolpe think sweetie? Be strong! I didn't marry til I was in my 30's and had had my first kid at 29 and the comments are now *u can't have an only child, etc etc* and do you know how I reply? MYOB
Sorry that might seem harsh but you can say *mind your own business* without being aggressive honestly!
Are they living your life? Do they know whats right for you? NO THEY DON'T!!!
Be strong and stand up for yourself, your life will only move at the pace you want it too if you chose not to let people/society/the media/expectations bully you into thinking/feeling/acting in a certain way.
Good luck with the rest of your life.xxx
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female
reader, pressure free +, writes (28 January 2006):
tell your friends your not ready for a relationship yet i'm sure they will back of and who knows next year you might find the love of your life
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (28 January 2006):
 good morning frustrated, well you are right about peoples percieved idea about what you should and should not do, this is normal as you are not in this world alone, you have friends, maybe family and by the sounds of it some people close to you are trying to force your hand to start a relationship as they are worried you may be gay, possibly you are, is there any chance you may be struggling a little with your sexuality, some people fancy both sexes and this causes inner conflict at first as you have the secret desire to be with a man to see what it is like, but your mates are all into girls so the pressure is on you to be like them, well maybe you are not like them, maybe you just "dont know" and this is fine as you have the rest of your life to work it through, but if you are unhappy with were you are now then maybe we need to talk again and work through what is really troubling you!! for now just tell your mates to back off. good luck
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