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male
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anonymous
writes: OK, so i am a married man, and work in a small shop with four other employees.Recently everyones has been meeting up outside work, and although we are good friends, i feel that i am missing out. One lady in particular i have a really good bond with because we spend every day together, just the two of us, and have recently thought how great it is to have a friend like that, but wanted to make more of an effort outside of work bcause I don't have many friends at the moment.However, last week this lady told me that she has a major crush on me and has done for a few months now. I didn't think that i felt the same when she told me, but that night i had a dream about her, and i couldn't get her out of my head since. I think that I now fancy her back, and she is constantly flirting, as much as i am a red blooded man and would love to go for it, i my morals wont let me. However its killing me inside, i feel guilty at home because of my feelings, and bad at work because i want to keep her as a friend, but dont want to hurt her feelings. I have told my colleague how i feel and she says that she wants to be friends too, but i get the feeling that she is still trying to flirt with me.HELP. how can i stop these feelings that i am having, and are they real or just because of the dream I had? How can i help my colleague get over her crush on me?
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 It seems weird how you kind of didnt like her then all of a sudden, you think you might fancy her back. I am not sure if this is no more than just a bit of lust my friend, because either you like someone or you dont, you dont kind of or think you might fancy someone!! If your morals wont allow you tosin, then my friend, listen to your conscience, conscience is always the best judge. xXx
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Don't give in to your temptations. There will always be women you are attracted to. Work on your marriage. You already made a mistake by letting it get this far. I know the compliments feel great but that is how nature programs us to seduce the opposite sex. If you went for this woman and lost your marriage, what would happen the next time you felt this way about another woman. Wold you break up again and go for her? Love who you're with . Attractions are nothing more than our basic instincts. Relationships are what we cherish.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (2 May 2006):
 This is an accident just waiting to happen. If you continue down this route of *friendship* with this woman sooner or later things will go too far.....she won't stop you and you ahve already admitted that you wnat to but your morals wont let you. Throw a little alcohol/an argument with your spouse into the equation and BAM!! One ruined marriage and one non-friend, now lover.
Please back off from this friendship and save your marriage. tell this woman that catagorically you are not interested and you will not take things further. Tell your wife she has a crush on you, in short protect yourself and your marriage form making a mistake.
You will regret it if you do. Then start looking for another job. Make your wife your best friend and treat her like you treat this woman. Please dont ruin what you ahve for a fling and a fumble.
xxx
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A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (2 May 2006):
 If you go further with this temptation you can be promised one thing, a bitter taste in your mouth that won't go away and more trouble than you could bargain for. It can be extremely hard to overcome temptation like this but if you love your wife you must do it. You don't say whether you have kids. I think it is overcoming you because it is a compliment. If you have hit a boring patch in your life or some mundanity, such a full blown compliment would go to your head, it is to be expected. Sexual tension is fabulous when it is directed in a good way, this looks like a recipe for disaster. You must be firm with your colleague. If she does not take it, it becomes sexual harrassment. You can't really tell where this lady will stop. She could make all sorts of trouble, especially if she is coming on strong already. You need to break the tension. Could you imagine her in a really unfortunate and revolting situation?! Losing control of her bowels and extreme flatulence!? I hope you forgive my effort to bring your vision back to 20/20. Imagine her calling you at home, getting your address and sitting on the doorstep all night, going through you rubbish, becoming obsessed, telling other people.... How would it feel to lose your wife? If you go ahead you run a dead cert to come close to this if not accomplish it because I can tell that this lady wants more than a fling. Wait and see if she respects what you have said about not wanting to go further. If she keeps on the pressure you can be sure that she is very likely to be a clinger and bring you trouble. The more she ignores what you asked, the more likely. The more she ignores..get a bit freaked. Take your wife somewhere nice and have a fantasy-full, sensual time with her. Get some attitude into improving your sex life together. The very best of luck, many have fallen in your sitation and almost always lived to regret it.
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A
female
reader, philly +, writes (2 May 2006):
Let me be frank with you. Do not be an idiot:-) You are a married man and obviously if you feel a strong attraction for this woman than you do not need her as a friend. Why give yourself unnecessary temptation and why see her outside of work. She is using her womanly charms to seduce you. If you love your wife then you will put a stop to this dangerous game you are playing. Go home and kiss your wife and tell her that you love her. There are so many people that are looking for their soulmate and if you have found that in your wife then do not throw that away. Remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the lake.CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE AND PROTECT IT AT ALL COST. EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING ONE LESS FRIEND.
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