A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Stuck in a rut with nowhere to turn...I am 29 yrs old, turning 30 in a few weeks. I have been in 2 longterm relationships, however both have ended with not alot to show but heartache. In my first relationship i fell pregnant but had a termination (9 yrs ago) which i have regretted ever since. It seems to be on my mind alot recently and could be to do with my age and fact another longterm relationship has failed. All of my friends are settled with kids and married and even younger members of my family too. I think age is playing a big part, but also the fact i'm single and starting again.I know women are starting families later these days but how late is too late and will i ever meet my Mr Right? i'm not one to jump into a relationship and mature enough to know what i want, lets just hope i dont go scaring anyone off with my honesty!On top of this with friends settled i feel like im a burden when talking of this and sure people think its kinda strange especially when they're sorted and i'm going round in circles. I would say i look young for my age and have been told im attractive not sure where it's all gone wrong! Feeling tad loney right now...Any thoughts would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Ladies,
I posted the question and I just wanted to thank you so much for your kind words. I read them today whilst at work and you have lifted my spirits so much. I do have my health, great family, good friends, excellent career (all good groundings for a brilliant new life). I guess I just need to take a chill pill and take things in my stride. I have everything going for me and think I may just be a slow burner too ;).
Thanks guys...onwards and upwards !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Wow I am going through the same thing (in fact its scary). I am 29 single and too have been pondering A LOT about my age and about the fact that all my relationships up until now have sucked. I also terminated a baby! But I know that "looking back" feeling/ syndrome. I have been getting it a lot. Sounds weird but my biggest fear is getting old and I can already notice loss of moisture and collagen in my face. (I know I am a bit superficial but I care about that, I really appreciated my youth). I don't know if you have this problem?? Loss of moisure?? I am actually in a good place and DON'T miss having a boyfriend. I never expected to be married till much later in life so this isn't at all a burden or a surprise. But I do feel burdened by the fact that the relationships I have had have not been good. At 29 I wish I could say, I at least met the love of my life or something. I thought I did, but looking back I haven't. IN any case I am definitely happy where I am at or heading professionally, I LOVE being on my own, independent. I actually don't mind being single. (I'd rather be single than be in bad company). I am just not too stoked about getting old...that's all...Well, being also in my last year in my twenties, my advice to you is do all those things that you have never done before. If you have always wanted to go skydiving, go skydiving. If you want to take a trip to Napa, go to Napa. Maybe you want to run a marathon. Doing something new and adventurous to you will give you a renewed sense of self...like a little confident boost. The great thing about a confident boost is that it always helps you figure out a sense of direction in life. (I find this to be true). And that is kind of what you are at a loss for. You've got your limbs, your health, your sanity, your looks, you got a lot going for you. There is NOTHING wrong with being single. Maybe you are a late bloomer like me. It took you 29 years to figure out what you don't want and maybe now you are old enough and mature enough to know what you want! Now is the time to focus on YOU! Like I said, go live your life. Find your direction. The rest will come to you. Don't worry what other people are doing. Let them do them. You do you. There is a reason you are where you are. Take advantage of it! I can't say that you will or you won't meet the love of your life. But all I know is that for as long as I have dated, everytime I feel lonely and I feel like I will never meet someone again, out of the blue I fall in love even more than the last guy! lol. That's how it always happens. I am sure you know about this. At least now you have the experience to know what you don't want so that you can make better decisions in the future. Take this as a good thing. And if you are feeling really down, watch Bridget Jones's Diary! Hilarious! Wish you luck!!!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 30 isn't old by any means. You're a mature adult now with the world at your feet! You have no baggage and can go anywhere you want to. Look at your maturity as a challenge and not an obstacle. You have your health and your strength, good friends, a roof over your head etc etc. Think of others who have a lot less than you have! Why don't you volunteer some of your time in a homeless shelter or a battered wives home. Sometimes being in an environment like this and working with people less fortunate can bring about just how lucky we are by comparison.
Thoughts are pure energy! Like energy attracts like energy so if you feel negative about your life then negativity is what you'll bring to yourself. Learn from your past relationship mistakes. Keep busy, keep focussed, keep smiling and keep positive and I'm sure you'll meet someone when you least expect it.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 30 is not old, cheer up lift your spirit. Don't attract negative vibes. Be positive feel good about yourself and you will send out positive signal and the right vibe might attract a possible mates. Good Luck in finding Mr. Right and when you find someone you made a connection with don't feed him with negativity because he will turn the other way.
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