A
male
age
51-59,
*onelydragon
writes:so I am not sure whats wrong with me. I will be 41 next month and have been single over a year now. before that I was single 5 years and so on and so on every single woman I have dated has cheated on me, lied to me stole from me abused me physically and mentally. Am I destined to be alone? Isn't there 1 woman out there that wants to settle down with me. I always wanted to have children but now I'm feeling I'm getting too old for it and it sucks because I want a family more than anything else in the world.
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 August 2012):
 I don't think you are destined to be alone, but finding someone might not be on your time schedule. I am 40 and still single, mainly by choice. I was in a serious relationship for 7 years and he just turned into someone I no longer knew. So, even though I wasn't cheated on, I kind of know how you feel. I have dated and currently have a boyfriend, but honestly, I am not sure I am meant to be married and have kids. That is something I have always wanted, but I'm not so sure anymore. I see how other couple live and don't think that is the life I want. Most of them barely see one another, when they do see one another, they are answering cell phones, texting other people, etc, and most of them are taking off separately to do things in their free time. It doesn't make much sense to me.
What I am saying is that I've chosen to be single, so I can do what I want. Even when my boyfriend first asked me out, this is what I thought "I am really not looking forward to this because I have to stop everything I'm doing and fit him into my schedule." It may sound selfish, but after what I went through in the last serious relationship I had, I decided I was going to live my life to the fullest and no one was going to interfere. He's a good guy, but I really don't see myself marrying anymore. Plus, I also know how much time and energy children take out of a relationship as I've watched my friends to it. It can be worth it if that is what you want.
With all of that being said, have you tried looking around on dating sites? Going to "singles" events in your community or volunteering for things? I always suggest getting out and doing different types of things because that is how I've met some of my best friends (not just people of the opposite sex, but all kinds of people). When you broaden your social circle, you may not only meet a new woman, but you might meet someone who could introduce you to a new woman.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 August 2012):
 Shake out the cobwebs.
every day you are meeting your potential wife. In the convenience stores, in the supermarket. At the coffee shop. At the airport. A client. A neighbor.
How long since you went on a holiday where there are single available women? A cruise? Ask the travel agent to recommend a cruise where there are many single or widowed or divorced women over the age of 25.
Do you visit a gym regularly where there are many women over the age of 25?
What are your conversation skills like? If you have trouble starting or sustaining a conversation then consider doing a course to help you communicate more effectively.
Do you live alone or with family? If the latter move out and start living in a bachelor pad.
Are you sometimes too pessimistic? This can be a major turn-off for women.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.html
A positive "can-do" confident guy is far more attractive than a negative guy who is offering excuses about why it 'cannot be done'
What is your level of confidence in yourself? If it is low then examine your existing skills. It is very important to do some SWOT analysis of your skills and what you do well.
You should be able to list your top five STRENGTHS without any hesitation.
You should be able to list at least three OPPORTUNITIES that are facing you now that could make you more attractive to a women interested in settling down.
You could probably list many weakneses and many threats to you becoming a husband and a father. That is better left to think about another day.
Because I would not be surprised if you often did not celebrate your strengths and the opportunities that you have right now. But you should celebrate these things.
Being relaxed helps too. A relaxed guy is very attractive. And a great way to relax is yoga. But the best thing about learning yoga is that the classes are usually 99% women - another place to meet a lady.
To build up your confidence write out a series of Affirmations that will help you build up your inner confidence in you. Say these out loud every day. Say them out loud to yourself every night before you go to sleep
And say them out loud every morning when you wake.
Can you manage to have a dog and look after a dog? If not offer to walk Neighbors dogs in the park. Dogs are a great way to meet women. Choose a busy well patronised park and attend with a dog every day at the same time. Stop to say hello as you walk by. Maybe even sit down on a bench with the dog to chat up another lady with her dog.
Do not be bothered by rejection. Just as girls need to kiss many frogs before finding their prince so too will you need to talk things over with many female ***? before you meet your true princess. You will need to chat up many girls. As out the ones you like most. You will still get some rejections.
Just keep on keeping on.
Never give up hope. your lady is out there waiting for you.
Do these things every day for the next 2 years and ask out several girls every week and by two years if you follow all the suggestions you will be giving your self a greater chance of meeting Miss right.
Men can father children at any age. Though the sooner you have children the more energy you will have.
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