A
female
age
30-35,
*if3sucks
writes:hey there i have a few problems actually alot so if you could help me out with them that would be great ok so first off is i have a wonderful boyfriend and we have only been dating for about two months but we have so much in common! i sleep over at his house every weekend and we go to school together, but he lives in a different town than me about 20 min away...well before we started to date i asked if he has ever cheated on a girl before and he said sadly yes i have once and he said he dont think he ever could again, he said he would break up with the girl if he wanted to be with someone else...and i belive he wouldnt cheat on me but since i stay at his place every weekend and when it becomes sunday when he brings me home i get all sad cuz i have to leave him and then i start to get thoughts in my head what if he cheats on me since i had to go back home??? it worrys me but i do trust him i dont know if you could help me out with that, that would be great and number two problem would be my parents...im 17 years old and i hate it at home, i have no friends in the town i live in all my friends are in the town my bf lives in and all my mom does is drink and my step dad works comes home sits in (HIS) chair and plays poker on the computer or watches tv. my step dad never lets me use the car anymore to go places and like i said no friends in this town! and its summer so i have nothing to do when its nice out! i just dont know what to do anymore they treat me like im 11 years old still but im not i wanna move out now if i could i seriously hate it at home! please help me out with these two problems of mine..thanks much! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Wow, that's quite a list. I wish I was 17 again and had the whole summer stretching out in front of me.
I have been there. I have had the boyfriend who lived too far away; I have lived in the town where I didn't know anyone; I have felt so unhappy and alone. (My parents don't drink and the computer wasn't a common household item back in the 70s, just for the record.)
So you need to find something to do for the summer, so that you CAN meet people and make friends. First, lose the
'poor me' attitude; anyone you meet will be put off by that, trust me. It may be part of why they are treating you like an 11 year old, because frankly, you do sound more like a younger kid. "Moooo----oooom, I'm bored. There's NOTHING to do in this town."
Second, find a summer job, or if you can't find one that pays, find a volunteer position. Take tickets at the local theater. Habitat for humanity does a lot of good work. Food banks are very busy these days, as are lots of the service charities. There's a great science museum near me that needs volunteers to handle the kids who visit every day. There's a whole set of teens your age in that group; I think they hang out and eat pizza and have a great time with each other after the work is over.
Join the swim club or the local running club or cycling club. In fact, if you have problem with transportation around town, you can ride your bicycle. A friend of mine, who is 50, just finished a graduate degree and his present was a new bicycle, which he is going to use to commut e to work. That would be 40 miles roundtrip, by the way. So if an old guy can do it, certainly you can do it too.
If you are busier, you will be more interesting to your boyfriend. If you are out and about and meeting new people, he is going to want to know that YOU are staying faithful too.
You will just have to trust him for now. In time, you may find that he is not trustworthy, in which case, you'll be better off without him. Or you may find that he's a stellar boyfriend and never deserved to be doubted, and you will appreciate him more because of the time apart. You will be more intriguing if you have lots of things to talk about and moreover, you'll be giving to people, which is pretty much a guaranteed high--it lifts your self-esteem and it gives you a purpose every day.
So take it from me, don't fret away these precious days of summer. We old fogies would give just about anything to be in your shoes again, knowing what we know now.
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