A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My whole family loves me and they love my girlfriend. She currently lives with me and my mom. They have even adopted her into the family but they don't know we are lesbians. About 1/3 of my family knows about us but the rest we are reluctant to tell because they are from older generations and will most likely not understand. Soon we will either need to tell them and risk them no longer accepting us or we may never tell them but that only will work for so long as they will wonder why either of us do not have any boyfriends.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2013): To tell or not to tell, is the age-old question for gays and lesbians coming out.
It's a lot easier process that most of us realize. Some love to make a dramatic debut. Then play the victim to backlash. All ado about nothing.
Here's a good family formula.
For those friends and family you "know" are progressive in thinking; and prove very close and dear to you. They should know the truth.
For those who's minds are in the Dark Ages, let them stay there. They don't approve or understand. That's their problem. Not yours.
What do you gain by creating dissension?
It's none of their business; and if they don't care to know, don't cram it down their throats. They don't have to accept it. It's their right to have an opinion. Positive or negative. You don't want them cramming their beliefs down your throat.
Keep the peace, don't deliberately invite trouble. You know who won't accept it.
You have no obligation to make a family announcement of your orientation. Straight people don't go from family member to family member, informing them they're straight. Gay people don't have to either. In fact, they only need to know that you two share something special, and that's all they need to know. Confirm the obvious, if they ask.
As for the truth, it is always there; whether you expose it or not. Most people will figure you out anyway.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2013): That's really hard you have to tell them the truth.
Just look for a perfect timing.
In this world were living in secrets are meant to be told.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (23 August 2013):
 Family is a tricky thing isn't it?
You can never please everyone and nor should you.
Your mom has accepted your girlfriend and 1/3 of your family accept and love her too. She's obviously a wonderful person and she makes you happy.
As a mother myself, if you were my daughter, I would say to you be proud of who you are and be proud of your girlfriend.
You are both in a loving, committed relationship and are undoubtedly making each other very happy. If anyone, family or otherwise can't be happy for you and accept that, then that's their loss sadly.
You have one life hunny, live it as you choose. Many people spend their whole lives looking for love, you've already found it. Congratulations.
I wish you much happiness x
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