A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling torn. I have some family drama that I am doing my best to stay out of. Long story short, my eldest sister and my brother in law moved to my mom’s home due for convenience and allegedly it was only going to be a short period. I don’t live in the home, but I visit my mom and when I go there’s always toxicity going on.For the record I had told my mom when she was going through with this plan to give them a timeline. My mom had an issue sometimes establishing boundaries and though she wants to give it also comes with a lot of I recall dealing with her when I lived with her as an adult child.Now, I know there’s two sides and that’s my moms and sisters. But I am finding it difficult to keep out and not be brought in the middle because both equally share their resentment.One thing that doesn’t help the cause is that my brother in law lost his job almost over a year ago and I see blatantly how little he tried to get an income to get them out of my moms home.That said my mom complains about every aspect involved in this situation and how she likes what she likes in her home. It’s bad because I see this relationship between my mom and sister being tarnished for good. And I know it’s not on me rather them to fix it. Everyday I get out in this, I feel anxious and consider visiting my mom to just avoid drama.I don’t know what to do. Any advice on how I can personally navigate the situation?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 May 2023):
 Urgh, that is a tough one.
How is your relationship with your sister? Because maybe you need to have a chat with her and tell her that SHE and her HUBBY need to give themselves a 3 months notice - find jobs (ANY JOBS) and move out. Because it's unhealthy for everyone involved. But mostly, your mom.
If you are in your 30's - your sister is in her late 30's, right? She NEEDS to stand on her own two feet with her husband.
I'd tell her straight up that you know it's a shitty situation for everyone involved but that ONLY her (sister) and her husband can FIX this. And they can do that BY getting JOBS ASAP and moving out ASAP.
Your mom has EVERY right to like things "JUST SO" in her own house.
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