A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this is really bugging me. I no longer like the guy to me he’s now unattractive and so arrogant but he treated me really badly and now he gets to be happy and it’s like he’s rubbing it in, how do you just be ok? So I was seeing this guy for 3years, I was loyal, I spoke to him all day every day, we saw eachother twice a week. I listened to his problems, I tried to help him, I was always there for him. I picked him at ridiculous o’clock if he’d had too much to drink. I always remembered special occasions. The thing is at start he was amazing and he’d always say we’d go on holiday etc I’d move in with him etc. he however strayed to put me down and critisce me. My friends used to say he was punching above his weight and they didn’t like him. I however always made excuses for him. Other people would warn me about him but I had to see it for myself. He then began dating another girl but still would call me and he lied about her that they had broken up I still said no though and he became annoyed and he’d turn up places I was and speak to me and he’d messsge me but be critical of anything I was doing. I started to see the real him and I didn’t like it . He’s very egotistical and he thinks he’s best at everything and he talks a lot and it’s always about him. He also puts people down and he made me feel not good enough. He then messaged me to tell me well he’s got this girl now and he’d chosen an ugly girl over me and how did that make me feel. He told me I was pathetic and that I meant nothing and he hated me and that he was deleting me on eveytbjngn because that’s how meaningless I was and everyone might think I’m pretty but he goes for personality and I’m nothing but a trophy and this girl has a personality and he’s happiest he’s been in his life and he never wants to see me again and said he’d deleted my number. Anyway I bumped into him and he tried to talk me I walked past like he didn’t exist. I see sometimes he still looks at my social media despite having removed me off it he still looks me up on occasions. I don’t feel anything for him anymore I would have given him the world I used to think he was amazing. He was being really cockey when I saw him and like showing off with his mates. It just hurts he gets to be happy and just moved on like that. I took myself away to pursue doing something I love with no wifi etc and it was amazing and it felt good to get away and throw myself into helping others. Now I’m home though it’s hard seeing him give everything to this girl and she says horrible things to him and is quite cockey herself and she copies me aswell, she’s started all my hobbies and posts non stop on social media about them despite yet not being able to do anything at all in them and she brags about it but she can’t even do it. I do gymnastics and he used to say I was a show off doing it and he’d put me down and say it was easy yet she’s now taken it up and he posts about how amazing it is and she is doing it yet he’d never post me he’d say it was showing off and nothing interesting or good. I just feel he’s got eveything now and I’ve got no one and he was best friend aswell and I didn’t do anything wrong I never wronged him and I was loyal and I stuck up for him and I wish I hadn’t because all the people who warned me about him were right even his one mate told me I was too good for him and he didn’t deserve me. It’s just the way when I saw him how he was laughing and having a great time and this new girl brags about him and she follows him everywhere. I just feel he gets to be happy yet he’s the one who treated me badly and he speaks to other people disgracefully sometimes and I just don’t see why he should get everyhting he wants and he seems popular he’s always with a group of mates and he’s always centre of attention and always is saying how he’s just won such and such or achieved this or that and he always makes out he’s best at everything.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (14 May 2023):
 Word wall.
the best revenge is to live well
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2023):
 He sounds like cancer you need to excise from your life - PRONTO.
" He then messaged me to tell me well he’s got this girl now and he’d chosen an ugly girl over me and how did that make me feel."
Wow, just wow. What kind of man would say this? Not just about you, but his current GF? I'd answered him:"well that might be all you can pull these days..."
Don't let his sad self-indulgent BS affect you.
CUT him out. BLOCK him on EVERYTHING, Delete his number, and if you see him out and about IGNORE and pretend he is a total stranger.
BLOCK this girl from accessing your social media.
Stop letting him live rent-free in your head.
WHO CARES?! HE is a loser! And good riddance.
In the future, LISTEN to your friends and family - THEY love you and want the best for you. And they might notice/see things you blindly ignore because of rosetinted glasses.
"I just feel he gets to be happy yet he’s the one who treated me badly "
He doesn't know what happiness is, OP
He just gets off hurting people - and because he probably has gotten a reaction of you feeling hurt out of you- he FEEDS of that hurt to make HIM feel better. That should tell you just how LOW and gross of a guy he is.
Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to good people. Him dumping you was a GREAT thing. You working on moving on and finding what makes you happy in life is a good thing.
Bad things also happen to BAD people. Good things happen to bad people too.
THAT is life. Life isn't fair. However, you CAN choose to sit and watch his "happy" life OR you can focus on yourself, your family, and your friends, and hopefully, the next guy you met will be a better man.
LEARN from this disaster of a relationship. You gave it your all, he gave you 10%. Why? Because you had feelings for him, he didn't have very deep feelings for you. Maybe due to not being capable of really CARING for someone.
Don't BEND OVER BACKWARDS for a partner, unless they do it for you.
Take a deep breath and EXCISE cancer, OP
BLOCK - DELETE - MOVE on. Do things YOU enjoy. Spend time with people you enjoy. Stop talking about your ex. If anyone else brings him up, just say - "Urgh, I'm so over THAT mistake can we change the topic?"
He wasn't a good fit for you long term, YOUR friends knew and you just ignored the red flags.
Live and learn, OP
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