A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm 24 years old. im really confused about what's going on right now. i've been straight when i was a kid. but when i met my friend 5 years ago and she was also my classmate. we had a lot of escapades. we were drinking, partying, we kissed. until one day we were just having fun and all of a sudden we make out. after the making out thingy. i talked to her the next day, i can't imagine i had the guts to ask her if we could be together.. she had a boyfriend that time and i had a boyfriend too. She said that she is scared on what other people might say (our friends). Then i said, ok its fine. After that she's not treating me the way it was before. so i was like omg what have i done. and what i did was i tried avoiding her for like 2 years.. but i'm still texting her just to say hi. and thats it. in that span of time without communication with my friend (which is the girl i liked before) i have had 2 ex boyfriends that didn't last.. so i was like, why not trying to have a girlfriend. and now i knew i was a bisexual. so now i had a girlfriend. almost everyone doesn't know about our secret relationship. only few of my friends. After a long time, this 2011, my friend that i liked before,she and i are spending time together at the mall,drinking and stuffs like what we usually do way back college days..and now im starting to fall in love with her again. my friend (the girl i liked before) knows that i have a girlfriend.it was fine with her (my friend)as long as im happy she said. my friend that i liked and my girlfriend are friends, actually we are hanging together the 3 of us recently this 2011. My problem is that this month of july 2011, me and my friend were hanging out together. and im falling in love again with her. we were in the room drinking, catching up the old times all of a sudden we kissed and make out again. my girlfriend doesn't know about this. but i told my girlfriend that me and friend had something from the "past". im crazy in love with my friend "once again" and i told her that i love her "again". she said that friendship is more important to her though she admit that she loves me too she really do and she mean it, its just that she couldn't give herself to me more than friends. i really feel bad about it. i don't know what to do.my relationship with my girlfriend is so-so we always argue about small things then it will become big deal.i wanted to break up with her but she doesnt want to lose me.life's just getting so complicated. what will i do??im being expressive on what i feel for my girlfriend and at the same time with my friend. i badly need help now.. its driving me crazy..
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female
reader, VelvetUnderground  +, writes (10 August 2011):
firstly you have to break up withy our currant girlfriend, you don't love her because she loves you its leading her on
then just enjoy spending time with your friend(the one you like) and deveop that into a relationship
Good luck, hope everything works out
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