A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A short while ago I found myself falling inlove with a very good female friend of mine.These fellings seemed to come out of nowhere but come they did and not being one to not take action I told her how I was feeling.The next cpl of weeks were amazing and I really thought we were forming something special, however,she has suddenly cooled and now says she does not want a relationship with me and it's left me devastated. Now I know all the getting on with life stuff, hobbies and the like but I just can't stop thinking about her no matter what.Everything in my life seems trivial and mundane without her and it's begining to affect my work life and my health.I find myself going out of my way to see her even if it is just as a friend but then this only serves to make me feel worse, for instance last night she stopped over at my place and slept in the spare room whereas I didn't sleep at all because of her.I would try and nudge the situation a little but i'm affraid that if i do i could loose her altogether.advise on this matter desperatly needed thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): hello, I am the anon poster of this and would like to thank you for your words of advice, i found something in what you both had to say on the subject and it honestley could not have worked out better.No offence to you nogolo but I found more in sunrises words and we talked like we had never REALY talked. It turns out that she's unwilling to commit due to the fact she still feels as though she has not found herself .you see this is where nogolo's words kinda came in to play for me. I am tired of reality and the day to day shit that goes with it which is why at the age of 34(me) and 27(her) we are giving up our jobs and going traveling for a year,2,3 who knows. Were still not gonna make any REAL commitment but it's a massive leap forward for us and I feel like i have you both to thank for that in part
my love
No OUR love
steve and helen
A
female
reader, sunrise +, writes (9 June 2007):
 You realy need to talk to her. You are freinds and you dont want to spoil that freindship by being and feeling awkward in each others company.
You told her how you felt before but you dont say how she responded? and now she's told you she doesn't want a reltionship with you, did she say why?
Ask her round or out for a drink, tell her you would like to talk to her, that way you can both say what you want to say to clear the air and then move forward as freinds atleast, because if you dont your freindship could suffer.
If you respect each others feelings and your freindship is as strong as you say it is it will all work out.
It's very difficult knowing that you dont have mutual feelings for each other but it's even harder if you dont really know what the other person wants, so talk and good luck.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (9 June 2007):
 Now I know that you are in my age group.
Let's see how it looks from perspective.
"Everything in my life seems trivial and mundane without her and it's begining to affect my work life and my health".
This sounds like you are tired of reality - you want big Love.
She wants a fling: "she does not want a relationship with me".
Why should you want to be with someone who does not love you?
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