A
female
age
30-35,
*rystalGirl
writes:Ok, here's the thing. I'm 20 years old and the guy I'm dating is 17. I've been dating him for almost 3 years and he has changed since we started dating. He's a more depressed and angry person now and he goes off on me more often. He gets mad easy. Thing is though, I recently developed feelings for his best friend and his best friend has feelings for me. Also, he's one of my best friends as well. All of my friends are guys. But last week his best friend, me and another friend went to the park one evening and he was rubbing up on me and i know i should have said stop and leave, but i enjoyed it and i let him touch up on my sides and hips. Me and his best friend talk alot through text messages and we end up talking about sexual stuff and I've even heard him masturbate over the phone when I talked to him once. I have strong feelings for him but neither one of us wants to hurt my boyfriend....and i really don't know what to do. My emotions are all confused.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Regarding "br br":
Many html forms won't allow use of the enter key to format paragraphs. "br" is an HTML tag that means "break" and instructs the form to start a new line. The forms on this site do indeed accept the enter key as a carriage return, but it deformatted my HTML code and left it in the reply instead of making it invisible as intended.
"br br" appears in places where I was trying to tell the web page to hit enter twice. You can disregard it. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): "All my friends are guys." br br
Translation: "I don't know how to make friends on my own without using sexuality." br br
Consequences: You "friends" aren't really friends, but instead are just dudes trying to hook up, or friends you borrowed from your boyfriend (or in this case, both). br br
Advice: br br
1) Never date friends of exes. You lose them both, destroy their friendship, and, given time, unite them against you. There's nothing quite as damaging to a person's life as having multiple people working together to destroy you. br br
2) Make some female friends to prevent this from happening again. Good places for this are at college, at a job, volunteering for a large project (community theater, soup kitchen), joining a book club, etc. Don't be lazy about this. Female friends have other female friends they can introduce you to, and female friends LOVE to play matchmaker when you're single, which you clearly will be soon.
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A
female
reader, CrystalGirl +, writes (3 June 2010):
CrystalGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have talked to my boyfriend about this and I have talked to his friend. All of us are going to stay friends and he said that we can continue to go out.
When i talked to his best friend he said that relationships scare him and to just stay with my boyfriend. So everything is worked out.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 You need to let your b/f go and stay single for awhile. If you are meant to be together, you and his best friend's path will cross again in the near future.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 June 2010):
I agree with GrimmRealty here. Sorry, but the emotion line is a load of rubbish. You're cheating with his best friend. Simple as that. You've hurt your boyfriend already. So do the decent thing and let him go, then have nothing to do wit his friend. Or shortly you'll have a bad reputation as a woman who can't be trusted.I do understand that you're unhappy, but that does not give you an excuse to cheat with his best friend. If you don't' stop, it will be you who looks the worst here and you with the messed up reputation.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (2 June 2010):
 You already have hurt him...you allowed someone that is not your boyfriend to rub up on you. You have kept this from him...and you have had phone sex with the guy.
I can't believe in light of everything you have posted that you feel confused..
You are cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend.
AND YOUR EMOTIONS ARE CONFUSED?
Think about your boyfriend instead of yourself. Do him a favor and be honest with him, tell him what you did and give him the chance to decide what he wants to do. You lost that right the second you started messing around. Because now you have surely taken part in destroying their friendship. And I am sure that at the very least you will lose more than one friend because of your actions.
Being "confused" is the oldest BS line people trot out when they can't take responsibility for their own actions.
The only person that has changed is you....you are now a cheater
Let him go..he deserves better
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