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male
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*nluckyinLove!!
writes: I have a friend who I have known for quite a few years. She is my sister's best friend and we all go out together quite regulary in a group. I feel though that I am falling in love with her but am not sure whether she feels the same. I keep getting mixed messages from her, we flirt a lot and get on really well but she talks about meeting other men, while we are out. The problem is if I do say something to her and she doesn't feel the same way, it could cause problems between her, my sister and me. What should I do?
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (10 March 2006):
 I agree with Bridget - take a chance.
Nobody lies on their deathbed and thinks "gee really shouldn't have asked her out", instead they think "what might have been".
If you think this girl is good for you and likes you, go for it.
If you are scared about getting rejected, try and make the approach more casual. Find something she is into, say she likes the theatre, get some tickets for a show and say "ended up with these tickets to this play, know you like the theatre, thought you might like to go with me". It's a safe approach and also allows you to spend some one on one time with her.
If she is interested in something you have in common (a type of movie, book etc), ring her and say "got this book you may be interested in reading, I really liked it, what about I drop by and lend it to you?"
Sometimes in a group, it is hard to get to know people one on one so any chance you get to spend time with her is a good thing, it will let you know how you really feel about her and get to know what things you have in common and if a relationship is a real possibility.
I vote find a way that you can spend some time with her, in a casual way and that way it won't seem like such a big deal and not so scary!
Good luck
A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (9 March 2006):
 Hey there UnluckyinLove..
How much do I feel for you!! Thats a shame you obviously really like this girl and you do mention that you have known her for quite a while..
So I suggest you take the bull by the horns and take the plunge.. She obviously likes you to if you say that you both flirt alot.. To get on well is a key ingredient in a realtionship aswell and considering you already know quite a bit about her, I dont see no reason why you shouldnt..
You mention that she talks about other men when you are out.. In what way? Does she tell you that she likes someone in particular??
Maybe she is trying to get you to make the first move..
Thats how I have witnessed friendships becoming relationships anyway..
Although If you decide to make a move and it does not work out the way you expected, then at least you will know where you stand and you can move along with your life in another direction..
If it does cause a problem, then thats life and things like this happen all the time, so dont feel bad and dont hold back either!!
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (9 March 2006):
Hey there UnluckyinLove..
How much do I feel for you!! Thats a shame you obviously really like this girl and you do mention that you have known her for quite a while..
So I suggest you take the bull by the horns and take the plunge.. She obviously likes you to if you say that you both flirt alot.. To get on well is a key ingredient in a realtionship aswell and considering you already know quite a bit about her, I dont see no reason why you shouldnt..
You mention that she talks about other men when you are out.. In what way? Does she tell you that she likes someone in particular??
Maybe she is trying to get you to make the first move..
Thats how I have witnessed friendships becoming relationships anyway..
Although If you decide to make a move and it does not work out the way you expected, then at least you will know where you stand and you can move along with your life in another direction..
If it does cause a problem, then thats life and things like this happen all the time, so dont feel bad and dont hold back either!!
Good Luck
Jacqueline
...............................
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