A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been this doctor’s patient for about 10 months now.i see him every 2 month. i’m in my early 20's. For all these months, I never showed my feelings to him. I never even asked him about his personal life other than medical-related questions(I actually should have asked, but I ‘m not a good speaker, he’s not my friend or anything, so I don’t know what can I ask) I know it’s hopeless. But still, the feelings are getting more intense, I think about him almost everyday now and I dreamed about him romantically. I think I ought to let him know how I feel, after I tell him, maybe gradually, I’ll forget about him. But my mom has been warning me about the consequences. She said she has friend who tells her OB or gyn doctor she loves him and not only he rejected her, he tells all the other doctors in the OB gyn department about her case ,so no doctor ever willing to treat her again. I have rheumatology disease and my insurance only allows me to go to specific hospital, if he do the same thing to me, then I’m definitely going to die with no doctor to see. And If I attempt to make some move such as accidently tripped over him, and get a kiss or hug from him, then he would called it sexually harassment and get the security guard. Is what she said true? I’m scared about the consequence but I can’t fight my feelings! I’m thinking about changing doctor, but I have PPO , so I need to ask my family doctor to refers me to a new doctor, I don’t know if she’s willing to do that, especially she’d definitely going to ask me why. My doctor is experienced, it would be a big loss I change doctor. I don’t know what should I do. And I think even if I get to switch doctor, I still want to tell him how I feel, otherwise, I still can’t get over him. Any good advices? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): Honey just enjoy the fantasies and move on.
All the doctors in my family have clearly stated they do not date patients. Although, one of the doctors in my family dated an ex patient, but she was also a doctor!
They waited almost a year before they pursued a REAL relationship. She was still doing internships but now they are married.
I dated a doctor once but we met at a night club, we danced all night and then kept in touch. He was a nice guy but not for me, he was a prick actually. He thought having an MD meant he could get laid.
Frankly, i'd have rather had sex with the pool guy that summer but he was married.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just find out he's married and he loves his wife so much.
yes, i know he never interests in me.. i think i really should try to move on. but i don't know if i should change doctor because he's experienced. i'm going to check out that book, thanks,silly B!
i also want to find a guy in my age group, but it's hard to find a serious guy who likes me.i've never been on a relationship before, i'm a conservative person, so i want a serious boyfriend as my frist.i also think it's important that i like that guy,too.so it's not easy.i wonder where can i find my mr.right.anyways,i never meet any serious guy who actually tells me openly he loves me and want to date me.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Ok first, you need to go and read the book "he's just not that into you". Its a great book and will show you clearly how a man treats you if he is interested in you.
What you have described is a crush YOU have on him. However, how does he treat you? If a man is truly interested he is the one that will do the chasing, calling, asking out... What it sounds like is that he treats you like any regular patient.
I assume that he must be in his 30's. You have to understand that he's gone through a whole life of education and experiences. He most likely has NO INTEREST in a girl in her early 20's. Your education is not comparable, nor are you at the same life stage...plus as a doctor he has many women who are interested in him. Women who are even better suited for him (his age, highly educated). He already might be in a relationship/engaged.
My advice is - unless he is asking you out and chasing you, you can assume a man isn't really interested in you. You shouldn't be asking him, its too easy for him...men need to chase.Read the book.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (11 April 2011):
Doctors are not allowed to be in relationships with patients.
There was a case in this country last year where a woman accused her OB of making moves on her and took him to court; it transpired that she had been chasing him and he had continually rejected her advances. She had also done it to other doctors previously. The OB in question had mentioned what this woman was doing to his colleagues, so that if anything bad happened- as it did- he had witnesses of her behaviour over time. Telling other doctors is a self preservation mechanism.
I wouldn't tell your doc how you feel if you can avoid it; I think perhaps the best thing would be to change docs if you can. Certainly if you are considering tripping over to get a hug or something then I think you should take some action because at your age that is a little crazy.
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