A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is just something I have observed and I want to know about guys' preferences about eye color and how that would affect a prospective partner. Even though it's inevitable that someone will accuse me of thes, I haven't closed my mind and I wouldn't seek someone out just for his ethnic group, but I know in my heart that I am attracted to Mexican guys. I know that you can never say, ''ALL...'' across the board when it comes to ethnic groups. But, I have noticed that the Mexican guys that are willing to give a North American woman a chance... seem to LOVE women with ''ojos de color'' which means light-colored eyes. I teach EFL and I've lived here for awhile... I have loads of Mexican guy friends and they are really sweet and loving. I would LOVE to have one for a boyriend, but I am sure that none of them are interested in me. The other day, I was talking to one of my best friends and he said that he dreams of landing a ''Barbie...'' blue eyes, blond hair. A couple friends have suggested that I get blue or green contacts to look more attractive. Everyone here seems to worship green, blue and grey eyes as if the people who posess them were gods or something! I have regular brown eyes, not dark and not light either. They actually look almost orange in certain lights. I am a ''guera'' (if you are white you are guera) not very dark, but not really fair... I have sort of olive skin. I have naturally dark golden blond hair but it's dark red now (I look better with red hair).I love my friends so much, but I get absolutely NO romantic attention from guys! What can I do to be less plain-looking? I LOVE dark brown eyes and black eyes and I'm not attracted to guys with light colored eyes at all. I feel very sad when my friends say stuff like this. Not ALL mexican guys say these things... but they WORSHIP light colored eyes! I could get contacts but it wouldn't be the real me. I had blue contacts once, and I looked terrible with them! I had some green ones and everyone said I looked great. I know that it's wrong to change yourself to please a guy... dark brown and black eyes are my favourite eye colors. But, why does everyone here seem to worship blue, green and grey eyes? It makes me cry. I can't deny it anymore, Mexican guys must think I'm plain. If one liked me he would pay attention. Am I to plain looking or is it because I'm too old to be considered attractive (I'm 32 so I am an ''old bag,'' I suppose). I can't get a guy... Is it because I don't have light colored eyes or because I'm just old and ugly now?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 No, I don't think you don't get hit on because of your eye colour and I don't think there is anything wrong with your colours- in fact, they sound pretty attractive. You are sort of golden/tawny all over- like a lioness ! Cool.
Don't be surprised if Mexicans like Barbie dolls- every culture is attracted and fascinated by what is rare, unusual ,exotic. When my American friends visit me in Italy they drool over the handsome dark eyed locals that I find unimpressive, because there are so many of them- as for me give me a Waspish , blond or red haired type anytime .Blue eyes are rare in Mexico, what's rare is precious, and what's precious is a privileged object of desire.
Nevertheless, attraction is never entirely a matter of colours , or even of physical perfection.If you attract, you attract - with blue yes, brown eyes, or a pirate patch over one eye.Not knowing you I have no idea why you do not attract men so much - maybe you are just unlucky, or you hang out with the wrong crowd, who knows. But I am inclined to think that it is in general a matter of sending out the wrong vibes, at the two opposite end of the spectrum.
A) desperate, needy, o-my-God-I-feel-so-lonely vibes
or
B) aloof , standoffish, don't-touch me vibes ( these second ones are most often just shyness- but how the poor guys are supposed to know ?)
It is something much subtler than hair colour or eye colour, it's about non verbal language: your posture, your smile, your voice, your gestures etc.
The idea would be to look - relaxed , I guess- approachable ,open, inviting- but not too much. Not anxious or in need of approval. And confident but not to the point of being intimidating.
Now I don't know how you act around your Mexican friends, but if you are willing to make a merciless self check, you may find out that you are sending out needy vibes, or anxious vibes, or whatnot - and it's that which holds you back, not your ( probably very cool ) lioness eyes.
Eventually, it has a lot to do with good old self esteem. If you feel old and ugly, you are broadcasting " I am old and ugly " to everybody- and they'll believe you. I don't know why it works like this- but it really does. The environment around you is your mirror- it sends you back what you send out to it.
As for your age, 32 is still a young girl in Western cultures, probably not so much in Mexico where it could be seen like more "matronal " - but not to a damaging extent. Unless maybe you only hang out with much younger people.
In conclusion, no, unluckily I have no surefire system for snatching up a Mexican, but I am pretty sure that your problems have got much more to do with your inside than with the outside.
Don't fret, don't obsess, shake proudly that dark-golden mane- and think of yourself as of a beautiful guera, with or without Mexican caballero attached :)
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