A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are currently apartment hunting. We are expecting a child in a few months and have been looking for a 2 bedroom apartment with little luck.The other day he messaged me telling me that one of his female coworkers was looking for a place and he asked if I'd be alright with her being our roommate.I told him no for several reasons. One was that I don't even know who she is and didn't wanna risk her turning out to be someone who stole my money or my laptop or something. Plus with a baby on the way I just felt that having a roommate is a bad idea. Or she could be friends with bad people for all I know. My boyfriend has only known her a month.Do you think I was wrong to say no? I mean I would have said no to a male roommate too but I think I was more uneasy about it because she is a girl his age (22) and he just met her last month and already seems comfortable enough to consider living with her.He made it a point to tell me that she had a crush on one of his best friends and that she wasn't her type while trying to convince me to change my answer. I still said no and he eventually gave up asking and said it was fine and we'd find our own place for just him, me, and our baby.Since I told him no though, he hasn't really seemed to want to talk to me. Everytime when he actually replies to me he is always saying he is too busy to talk or is tired and going to bed.I haven't bothered messaging him in 3 days since he just keeps either not even replying to me or saying what I said above. I have seen him post on facebook that he was bored and sharing things on the site but I've just been waiting for him to message me but he hasn't.Now I am really worried. We are supposed to be moving into my dad's place together next week until we can find our own place so we can raise our daughter together.Now I am starting to really wonder if there was another reason why he wanted her as our roommate.What do you think? I really hope I am just overthinking things. I've been overally stressed lately.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 Whnows she mit be a big help during the time you nehe most. Morth trying.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (27 August 2014):
Yeah, just want to agree with the others, and add that the girl is nuts to want to live with a young couple with a new baby anyway. It would be a bad choice for her, she ought to be rooming with other single young people.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 Probably this is neither here nor there, but what strikes me as weird is that THE GIRL would offer to share an apartment with a new young couple- and a newborn baby !- she must be desperate for a roof on her head.
Anyway , it sounds like your bf may be sulking but most probably is not for the reason you think, I mean, he should be the worst ( and silliest ) cad in the world if he wanted to bring home a roommate - because he fancies her and plans to romance her under the nose of his gf - and new mom of his child.
I mean, if he was such a blackguard you would have had some inkling of it during your relationship and hopefully you would also have avoided to make a baby with him , right ?
I think probably he is sulking because he is concerned about money ( obviously having a roommate would cut down his rent costs, although this would be the only advantage ) . Or maybe because he likes to have things his way and he is one of those types that can't stand having is plans thwarted and his suggestions vetoed.
I would not bring it up right now , because it would look like you mean to nag , or to pick up a fight, since officially it's case closed, and you have agreed to dismiss the issue.
In a while, if you are still curious ( it IS a little curious that he thought it would be such a good idea )- but not as stressed and worried as you are now, you could , calmly and non confrontationally, ask him why he acted disappointed when you refused to get a roommate . But only if , as another poster says, you can make it clear that you are asking because you want to understand, not because you want to accuse .
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 August 2014):
You are overthinking things and you made the right decision. There's no reason to have roommates, that's asking for trouble.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 You were 100% right to say 'no'. Without a doubt.
To be honest this does seem a bit dodgey. A female co-worker he's only known a month, and you with a baby on the way (not ideal for you or any room mate) and for him to be this disappointed smells a bit off.
If it comes up again ask him, without accusing him, why he wants to live with this woman so badly. I recommend non accusing because then he'll have to focus on his reasons instead if on your (real or imagined) anger.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2014):
 I think you did the right thing. You went with your gut. To be honest having your first baby is NOT the time to get a room mate you barely know (if ANY room mate).
I would try and NOT overthink it, but still stick to your guns with no stranger as a roommate.
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