A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months and we are as happy as can be. Everything is great except for his ex wife. They have a child together and he is a wonderful dad. We get his 7 year old daughter nearly every weekend and he is great with her. Him and his ex have been divorced for about 2 years, and they've both moved out of the house they shared (HIS house, her name is not on the deed). We just moved into an apartment together and she has her own place, but she still thinks she has the right to go to their old house and remove whatever she sees fit. And she is always calling him asking for money or telling him shes going to get something from the house (none of the thingsi n the house are hers). She calls him at least once a week for things unrelated to their daughter and is always trying to get money out of him even though he just gave her $10,000.00!! He gave her that money in May and she called in april asking for $2,000.00 to pay for a surgery she was having (something about having precancerous cells on her ovaries and the doc needed an upfront payment even though she is a teacher so we know she has insurance). She's never mentioned her "cancer" since he told her no so we're pretty sure she's making it up. He has called her and told her not to call him unless it has to do with their daughter, but she seems to always find something to call and bug him about. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Any advice on how i can deal with this without taking it out on him since he's not doing anything wrong? Anything you suggest he can say to her to get her to back off? Any advice would be great. The fact that she continues to try to stay in contact with him so much is starting to get to me. I kno they have a daughter together and I expect them to talk about that but enough it enough! she cheated on him with his cousin and ruined the marriage so he owes her nothing! please help! im afriad I will just get sick of it and move on if i dont find a way to deal with it and i dont want to do that. he is great and i love him. thanks!
View related questions:
cousin, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, money, move on, moved in, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 June 2009):
Well think of it from her side. He's gone off and left her and got a new girlfriend. She has a job and a child to raise. She's going to be bitter for a fair old while.
He is doing the right thing by just telling her to call about their daughter only.
But he could help the situation by actually going to see her and talking to her. She clearly has not had the closure she needs to move on. He could go and talk to her, talk about the break up, talk about how she is better off with out him and should go find someone new.
As for the house. Yes her name is not on the deed but did she not put ANYTHING into it? Trusting your husband enough to leave things in his name because you think you are going to be together forever is an easy thing to do.
If neither of you are there any more, why not split the stuff inside, and give her half. Then put it on the market and give her 10%.
Yes she may not legally be entitled to that much but:
a) do you really want all the furniture that he bought lovingly with her in YOUR house? No? Then let her have it.
b) yes the cash shouldn't legally go to her but it will be a gesture. He can tell her that he knows he doesn't HAVE to give her anything, but he wants to, so they can be friends and stop all this anger.
Buy a fresh start from her.
A well worthy investment.
Good Luck!! xx
|
