A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im not even sure where to start with this one, this is a problem im having with an ex im having who i still very much have feelings for but i just cant bring myself to be honest with her about it anymore.But i just cant figure out whats going on in her head, shes so confusing, we are still friends, which i guess im pretty happy with, although i love her, i think ive gotten to a point where i can deal with it, and i can open up to other people, even when i wasnt talking to her i still thought about her all the time, so i decided to make up with her again, were still fairly close friends, but my problem is, shes so moody with me, for 4 years she was the sweetist girl ive ever known, then when i finally told her how much i cared about her she seemed to feel the same way, and we hit it off.But shortly after that things started getting rocky she would ignore me and tell me she wanted space and stuff, so yeah i get it, after a while i just got the vibes that she wasnt interested anymore, so i told her how i felt, and said if you dont wana be in the relationship anymore, we can cool it off, i can deal with it, i just want her to be happy.but regardless of the fact that we have broken up, she still is like, hot and cold, sometimes shes nice, next day she will argue with me over the silliest things, and i really mean silly, its like she was picking fights with me.So anyway after one day she got really bad and started chewing me out for practically nothing, she said some really nasty things about me on a blog she has, now i doubt i was supposed to know about this blog, so it was basically talking behind my back, but anyways, i just cut contact for a week or two, i didnt say anything out of line, i just took it pretty hard and didnt wana confront her about it because i really dont want to cut her down about it, i still very much love this girl and id never do anything like that to anybody anyway, so anyway after about 2 weeks once i got my thoughts sorted out i decided to speak to her again, and she was being really really nice and sweet.She picked up a bit that i was feeling a bit down but i didnt really say anything about it, other than i was just tired of getting stressed out about things in my life and such, and i just needed some time off.I didnt just cut her off in those 2 weeks, i didnt talk to anybody, i just needed some time to think things through for myself, and i was kinda under the thoughts that i should probably just detach myself a bit, not get so close etc, because if i do that, she wouldnt be able to get at me.But anyway, after talking to her again, i was only planning on keeping it brief but we ended up getting into a really in depth conversation for like 3 hours, and she didnt say a single bad thing to me, now she has taken her nasty post about me off her blog.What i want to know is can anybody speculate whats going on in her head? i didnt say anything directly to her about it, and she didnt know i looked at it, but i really thought she didnt want me around, and when i do decide to detach myself a bit she comes back with all this? Can anybody speculate what is going on in this girls head? i dont even know if she has feelings for me anymore, but she gets close, then pushes me away, and when i pull away, she gets close again, and its really confusing. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm not exactly waiting for her, i just want her to be normal with me, she knows im interested in other girls etc, im relativly close to one atm, but again thats kinda a complicated situation too lol. Oh and she didnt exactly break it off with me i brought it was more mutual than anything else, i said to her because she just seemed switched off in the relationship and thats not what i want, i just said if she wasnt interested lets break it off now and avoid any more hurt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): From personal experience buddy, it seems like she's not interested in you at the moment but is keeping you around, (emotionally and physically) in case she becomes re-interested in you. This normally happens if they cannot find someone "better."
The fact that she would rant stuff about you on a blog instead of saying it to your face or trying to work it out with you seems to me like she dislikes you in a way, but at the same time, doesnt want to be harsh and hurt your feelings because of the history you guys have together.
She clings to you when you pull away subconciously because she doesnt want to hurt you, but trust me, she has no interest in you if every single thing bothers her. Alot of the times people know it won't work but they hold anyways. Thats what's happening with you.
Stay friends, but distance yourself to how you would behave with any other female. Stop wasting your time dude.
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (15 August 2009):
Being a girl, I can tell shes just playing mind games. I used to do that with my ex too. However, this seems to be going on for quite a while.
Okie, I dunno if Id be able to help you a lot. But this is what it sounds to me. When any 2 people are together for 3-4 yrs , they definitely form a connection and you get attached. Now I am sure shes attached to you in a way but probably wasn't too attached that she wudnt let you go . When she started ignoring you and you discussed it with her, instead of justifing herself she asked you to leave if you had a problem. Now a person who would really care about you, wouldnt ask you to leave, would she?
But may be she cares. A lot of people dont realise the value of the person theyre with until they leave and may be the same happened to her too. Now Id say, just cut her off from your life for a bit. I know you love her, but probably this might show you if you should continue waiting for her emotionally?
dont talk to her for a while and when she asks y r u not talking? tell her the same problem u told us on this site. and see what she has to say. and just go liek youre tired of all this and the relationship has ended anyways so whats the use of me stickin around!!! after this, it should probably be the end of her end games and she will come out clean. girls love to mess with guys heads. You mess with hers. When you ignore a girl who likes you, shed go crazy. Try that.
I hope for the best of your relationship :)
I know it didnt really help
bt this is how a girls (or someone like me) mind works
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