A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i just cant explain how i feel at the moment. My ex finished with me 4months ago over a txt but has been trying to get bk with me since. Hes quite abusive, for example calling me names such as a slut and punching walls, kicking bins over, when i was just laffing with this boy behind the bar. It was just a friendly thing, bartenders coming to me im used to it, i never react single or not i just laff it off. Not like im bigheaded but some bartenders are just like that. However he ended up going crazy screaming coming bk to my house waking my mum kicking, punching all the walls, i shudda ended it then but i felt i cudnt. Im stupid I know.Anyways id never let a boy dump me then pick me up so i refused to get bk with him. He emails me all the time, the last 1 was 1st july saying it wud have been our anniversary i miss u blah blah the same thing.Well his friend emailed me yesterday, i hevnt replied to my ex's emails but i didnt think that this friend was still mates with him coz they were no tht close. So i replied to him, he asked me how i am and if im dating and i sed yeh i am a bit. Well that night my ex was emailing again saying hes dating a girl shes really nice and i may get luck but wouldnt find somone that is as nice as him. I just hate him, hes soo horrible, im dying to email bk and tell him where to go but i dnt wanna react, but if hes dating someone why the hell is emailing me. I dont know if im upset coz he sed hes dating someone or because hes just horrible and i cnt believe i went out with him, i just dont understand wat im feeling. He was my first bf, i fell head over heals, i was in too deep even tho he was nasty.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for ur advice, yeh my mum was rlly scared for me coz i wouldnt listen to her. He hasnt stopped for 4months, im going thru hell ive completely ignored him. He scares me, if i see a car like his my heart sinks, i just cant move on, not coz i wanna be with him its because hes stalking me and i dnt know what to do. I dont know what else to do, i havent reacted but in the past hes just shown up at my door even at 8am. Hes soo unpredictable, im only 20 and im stuck with this. Nevermind, thaks i know now its not just me ive been thinking isit me whose mad. All the best xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): I'd just like to add, if you feel you can, try talking to your mom about this, she knows this guy better than anyone here could and perhaps will be able to advise you better.
Plus there is no one in the world more committed or better equipped to protect you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): You need to completely ignore this *sshole it's as simple as that, he needs to get the message that you're not interested anymore. He's obviously only saying he's dating someone because he heard you had moved on trying to get a reaction from you, I think that's what's pissing you off the most knowing that he's willing to stoop so low.
This guy is the lowest of the low, he's a complete *sshole and is beyond redemption. Stay as far away from him as you can. Don't respond to anything he sends you because that is what he wants. Even an e-mail to tell him to p*** off will be a reaction and that's what he wants. He wants to keep himself in your thoughts so he can ruin you.
You're not to blame for your feelings, there will always be a bit of residual feelings from your first love we all get it. 4 months is too long to let this continue though, it's time to end this.
You need to block his e-mail address so he can't keep pestering you, don't let him continue or this could get out of hand. You can find out how to block people from you e-mail service provider. Do it as soon as possible.
I can't stress enough the importance of completely ignoring him, you cannot give him any reaction whatsoever. If you get the feeling one of your mutual friends is asking you how you're doing on his behalf tell that friend to back off and stop being a tool of his continual harrassment of you.
That's what this is harrassment, be very careful here, from what you've described this guy is a loose cannon with a violent temper and if you don't put an end to this now it could get a lot worse. Be aware of all your options in protecting yourself from this weirdo, both online and in real life, just in case.
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