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male
age
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anonymous
writes:Would like help pls. Has anyone ever come accross a partner who constantly betrays and hurts but never answers to what has caused the break up? Last week,after what seemed a turn for the better after getting back,my belief that its going somewhere turns to its old reality. My simm card broke so i txt with my new one. It became clear that she thought i was someone else. The reply was when do u want to meet? I asked who i was txtin,the reply was if i could have had something,but i am txtin more than one and dropped myself in it by asking who it was. Now it is the same old "I dumped her and took away her happiness" etc. Not a mention of anything to do with what caused it or answers in accordance to the question. I know now that after 7 years,its time to accept it. I am baffled by the mentality,especialy the belief that she gets dumped out of the blue. Anyone had experience with this type of personality?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Not answering directly is simply guilty but dont care how you feel,but dont give me a hard time as i hate being told what i did when i was wrong. This person involved will not stop. Her reasons for not wanting the relationship to end could be a fear of lonelyness and could well be trying to find better but gets used. If she meets a guy willing to stay,then you may find she suddenly loves him and tells everyone you treated her terrible. There is definately a disorder,but she will think its you who has got the problem. You have got a problem. Its called co dependancy. You need to put it all behind you and meet someone normal. She should get her just deserts and she will.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): She knows it is hurting you,and is not going to take responsibility. There is nothing wrong here,if anything she has spotted you are easily wrapped round her finger. She knows too well you will go back,she`s actively seeking sex by the sound of it. It wont be easy having sex with her if you are disgusted by her. If and when you catch her bang on,it will be the excuse she may use,before you know it you feel guilty yet you was cheated on. It has got so bad that even if she isnt doing anything,you will believe she is. It will ware you down. Its looking very much like she isnt even worthy of trust. The problem with liars is that everything spoken may not be a lie,and you just dont know when it isnt. You will eventually look like a miserable,paranoid,insecure and down trodden man. She will look like the woman who is having to put up with you. You know different,and believe me,so does she.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Oh she will know why you broke up. She doesnt want to admit it.
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A
female
reader, who u want me to be  +, writes (20 March 2011):
she sounds like she may get a kick out breaking the rules and cannot get what she wants out of a relationship. Its unlikely she will want you to cheat or know she cheats. A sign of this is displaying aggression,turning the blame around or bringing up what she believes you did. If you give her your blessing to get laid off who she wants,it woulnt be the same excitement as the betrayal is her high.
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A
female
reader, who u want me to be +, writes (20 March 2011):
Instead of questioning her behavior,why not question why you are reluctant to leave someone who has no respect for you. Has she ever drummed it into your mind that you wont get better? Threatened to sleep with guys if you leave? Well if so,remember a liar will say anything,(like the son was text messenging you). I think 7 years of it shows you are also dodging things. go to http://winning-teams.com/recognizenarcissist.html and it could give you an understanding,but it wont ever change her,7 years from now you will have the same problem with her. It is far from healthy,depression,low self esteem and negativity becomes a product of it. Self belief will not happen by staying where you are. There`s far more in the world.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): She has put herself in it. as it seems she wrote again over something what is another argument,her refusal shows.also no care for any hurt it can cause, wierd it is that the realisation that who was texting her was also texting others got her back up. you and seven years dont matter as you dont know. she knows exactly what she does will cause a split,so accept her value. it sounds like she might be addicted to forbidden sex and causes a feeling she cannot get from a one to one. there are even men who want her type.but by them knowing will take away the turn on as its not secret.
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female
reader, who u want me to be +, writes (20 March 2011):
interesting how the son gets pissed over the fact he didnt know who was texting him. Never in a million years did the son text,it was her on his phone,she is herself cheating but gets wound up about this guy not knowing who it was. People will get as much abuse as they are willing to tolerate,she see`s you as a soft touch,insults intelligence and has no care about it. It sounds like its likely to be a sex contact off a site.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (20 March 2011):
I find it unusual for someone to text him from a different number and out of nowhere he believes she is cheating. Without disrespect,it looks very much like she is and if so,then its a bit insulting. There is something not quite right about what she wrote.
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A
female
reader, tcm  +, writes (20 March 2011):
This i find rather unbelievable. I dont know who is right or wrong, but the son's story is very difficult to believe. Why did the son text things to make his mother look like she was linking up,without any knowledge of who it was? Didn't even know if it was male,female,how old,or even could have been someone dangerous. If It was a different number and you knew who it was,it looks very much like the phone was borrowed just in case she messed up,she wasnt sure who it was,he didnt say who he was but maybe assumed she knew. He must have sensed by her reply that if he stayed quiet she would reveal something. She continued but on another number. I find it exremely unlikely that anyone would pass a number on to their child to continue a discussion what involves cheating. I cannot see anything else other than underhandedness. If you are still questioning this after several years,then you must be delaying in accepting the person isnt going to change. There is nothing going to change what has happened by asking questions. You will only end up more confused. Do not sit around, she cetainly doesn't. You will end up believing this is part of being in a relationship,but it isnt. I find this son story as rather a back up just in case it wasnt who she wanted to be texting her. It wasnt, but i bet she must have been shocked who it really was. You cannot make a cheating heart sincere. It seems its not the first time trust has been broken. She knows she has messed up, her only back up is her son was linking her up with a total stranger. Leave it right there because you wont change history by hanging around.
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A
female
reader, lucky lynne  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 So youre saying it was your son who was fixing up a date for you, without your say so? I say it's just simply a case of you are a chancer this time you lost. Of course her son didn't text it. Rather a desperate attempt to get out of it,so desperate it makes no sense. I bet she had the shock of her life when she realized her clanger
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): how can a guy be trust worthy when in 7 yrs he has had over 50 different numbers and constantly text you allegedly claiming to be someone else
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female
reader, lucky lynne +, writes (20 March 2011):
once a cheat always a cheat. if her son put what matches a direct reply,then why? does he want to break you up or is it a case of making sure it really is lover number two before saying too much? the son will defend his mother,not make her vulnerable to a stranger. this i would imagine is what he has been told to say,but she will have been the one sending the texts,otherwise nothing would suggest cheating. I do believe you didnt tell her who it was as you instantly knew it would lead to some revelation and it did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): This isnt making sense. Why would a son make those type of pranks? I think it may be using the sons number to be safe as she wasnt sure about what she could say. She`s trying to get the best of both.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Did your son use another number? I believe for safety you used his phone until sure it was not your man. If nothing was taking place his/your messages would not fit into shape and your ex would not have known who it was. Poster,a refusal to explain is normal behavior of embarrassment,guilt or even self denial. You do not need to be here. You mentioned seven years,and seems you are being a martyr to a lost cause. If someone is insincere,unfaithful or less than you are willing to accept,to question it is a deep down feeling of not wanting to move on. I suggest you do not question it. Its not going to help you personally. You may not like the rest of what you find out. Seven years is long enough to waste on what is not working.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): So your son sent those text messages? So he knew exactly what to say? He thought he would cause a potential danger to you with a stranger? Its not normal behavior off either,but in this case accept you slipped up and its now over. Dont try to pull the wool,it sounds very much that you were being underhanded and he suspected it. Hold your hands up. Theres little else you can do. My friend was constantly denying he was riding too fast,the camera did not lie. He still denies it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Google narcissism it may be a lead.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): He states there is never a mention of what caused it. It sounds like you have got an alibi. Why would your son send messages what insinuate cheating? It shows anger at the belief there is more than one. Saying he could have, would your son make you appear that way? I dont think it fits and to the op dont try to question what will end up hurting you. Question where you are going from here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): i am the ex whom this is written about and i asked on 3 occasions who was txting me an he never once said whom he was so i informed my son of my situation and he txt this number with various things and then i get accused of cheating,when i found out it was my now ex i told him that my son had sent the txt as a prank and even now we still have the txts that were sent and received but he still insist i have cheated when i have not,i cant understand why he didnt say this is my new number instead of playing mind games is this normal behaviour from a guy whom says he loves you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): did you inform her that this was you txting her and not a prank and did she give you an explination as to whom had txt you
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