A
female
age
26-29,
*arissalover1
writes:My boyfriend means the world to me. i trust him with everything i tell him and he is the only one i can talk to about pretty much anything. we are always telling each other that we love one another, and he is always telling me i look beautiful, rather than sexy or hot, but i want to know.. do we really love each other? we are so close and we are always trying to make time to see and be with each other, but i have always wanted another persons perspective on this matter. are we in love?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 hi, he sounds very loving to me. Here is my criteria for love. The list may not include everything, but off the top of my head, here are my suggestions:
1. The two of you can talk about anything with each other.
Neither have any concerns about being open and honest with each other. Neither of you act in a controlling judgemental way - for the latter is not love.
2. The two of you feel more comfortable being with each other, than with anyone else. Neither of you have any aspect of you that you could not discuss and deal with.
3. You are kind and considerate with each other and know better than anyone that neither of you are perfect in every way. But you can live with the imperfections and still want to be with this person more than with any one else.
4. You are very relaxed and comfortable being with this person. An hour with this person goes very quickly. Feels like just a minute together.
Whereas with someone you are not meant to be with a minute can seem like a long drawn out boring hour.
5. You are proud of this person and all they have achieved. And you are proud to introduce them to all the other people you care about. And proud to signify to others that you are together as a couple.
6. The person respects your wishes, your values, your attitudes. The person never denigrates your wishes and understands your position on most things. Sometimes you may disagree, but you can discus and negotiate the issue of contention calmly and respectfully and resolve it without a win-lose mentality. And even agree to differ, but come to a negotiated compromise in some circumstances.
7, you work towards mutually agreed goals and in the same direction. Neither of you would ever covertly sabotage agreed goals.
8. If there is a problem you are both confident that you can resolve it in a mutually agreed calm and confident respectful way.
9. Your demonstrate by your actions in every way that your first priority is each other. as together you can achieve good things. Be it in the relationship, and with other goals such as bringing up your children together.
10. You feel that together, as a couple, that you are growing closer every day.
Not growing apart. Everything done together is more enjoyable than if you were with anyone else. You understand each other completely, and you each like what you see, completely.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): you seem very young it could be love but i think when you find love you really know it is love
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A
male
reader, Maverickjuniper +, writes (2 April 2011):
It is love. My advice is to run with it. Fall in love over and over again. Don't give in to any doubts like my ex girlfriend has recently. If you love someone you will not fall out of love overnight... love is everlasting.“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”
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