A
female
age
30-35,
*herryblossommieko
writes: My ex gf popped up and we got into a huge blowout. She yelled at me, insulted me and said stuff but when I said the same thing to her it was a blowout. She started talking about how she did all this stuff while we dated, I'm not good with relationships, I was told by someone "I'll never be gf material etc" before so my feelings were hurt. I told her I agree that she did alot more but I was trying and learning then she goes "What exactly did you do for me" everytime I said anything she said besides that, my feelings got hurt and I hung up. She txt me saying "oh you over reacted and didn't let me finish , I wanted to see what you said to make a list etc" and I've yet to txt her back. Was I wrong to be really upset? She did make me cry :(. What should I say to her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): Tc - the question and gender clearly identify the poster as a girl. And OP, she may or may not like you and want you back, but if she's making you cry, you don't want her as your girlfriend. Speak with her (in person!) about how you feel. If she refuses to listen then just walk away and cut contact. Good luck.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (27 July 2011):
Hello. Well first of all it is normal to feel upset, she said some hurtful things to you and offended you. When anyone critizes your relotionship skills of course you are going to feel upset.
But try not to let her get to you and don't take everything she ses to heart. Sometimes as im sure you know when people break up they can hold grudges against eachother simpley because there relotionship didnt work out.
Did she just randomly pop up out of the blue? maybe the reason she done that was because her intentions were really to get back at you one last time, sometimes this is either a sign she misses you and hates you because the relotionship didnt work out or because shes viscious and just wants to hurt you and get you back for whatever reason.
Im sure she brought up all your mistakes you made in your relotionship right ? trying to highlight all the bad points just to make you feel bad or useless. Well don't feel that way as you said you were still kinda learning and everyone makes shit loads of mistakes in relotionships.
Send her a message highlighting all the good things you done, like maybe when you took her out, bought something, listened to her, told her you loved her, kissed her, was there for her, maybe helped her out with things ? stuck up for her spent your money on her things like that once you have finished for your list then just say " fair enough you might of done more for me than i did for you, but if i wasnt good enough why on earth did you go out with me in the first place ? if your that concerened why dont you go find someone "better" than me and stop looking for a fight with your ex, if you werent that bothered about me you wouldnt be going on about a relotionship that ended ____ months/weeks/years ago would you ?" or phrase it kinda like that in your own way.
After that i would just leave it there and dont reply to anymore of her messages or this will go on forever.
Hope this helps x
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