A
male
age
36-40,
*oolclmcllctve
writes:Hi. Well i was with my ex for 5 years, and i cheated on her. She found out after we broke up, then she went through a horrible stage in her life. She contacted my mother on mothers day, and we started small talk i.e txing etc. Since last sunday we have been staying the night with each other and spending the whole day with each other. Everything seemed to be on the right track until tonight. She told me she loves me but hates me at the same time. She also said she didnt know if she could fully forgivr or trust me again and she told me i could sleep on the couch. I planned on getting her a promise ring this sunday. Idk what i should do now, i hope im not wasting my time, because i plan on spending my life with her
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): "... hope im not wasting my time..."
you sure hope you are not wasting YOUR TIME but what about those 5 years SHE WASTED ON YOU.
You seem selfish and arrogant and you have no idea what your gf is going through. how about showing so damn compassion, some love, some empathy towards her because she has to deal with a cheater in her life.
5 years is a bloody long time to throw away. right now IT IS NOT about you. she needs to heal. she needs to take things slowly. she has to learn to trust you again and she needs some bloody support from you.
Tinme to grow up and realise that it is all about you.... perhaps one day your gf will actually wake up and realise that she has thrown her good years away on someone who doesnt deserve her.
LoveGirl
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): Hate and love are close emotions.
You can't hate something you are "indifferent" to. So she is still attached.
Shower with her love and make big gestures to show her what your true intentions are.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (13 July 2011):
 If she can't trust you then you two shouldn't be together. She may not be able to forgive and its understandable, but she should try to trust you. You made a mistake and hopefully you won't do it to her again. I don't think you should get her a promise ring because you two seem like you need to work on this and until you do, save your money and see what happens.
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