A
male
age
36-40,
*otaclue
writes:So here it is...yet another guy who for some reason cannot get over what happened with his ex-girlfriend...I stress that it's not that I can't get over her, or even that I want her back just that I cannot get over what she did...it makes no sense.To cut straight to the point we ended things as she was 'confused' about what she wanted. though not that confused that she didn't meet with her ex, fuck him and then start dating someone else. Now she's with someone completely different. And the reason I know all of this? The two mutual friends we both share seem to want to update me on how happy she is. What I also cannot get my head around is how our mutual friends still care for her and like her. Call me old fashioned but if someone was to wrong a friend of mine, I'd take a stance and say "that was wrong - you're a shit" (in so many words!so here I am 6 months on, still living in the same flat we used to share. she's moved on with the new guy, and as much as I shouldn't have, the only contact I've had with her is seeing if she was okay. Call me mean...but it pains me that she has moved on and is all happy with the new man. whilst i sit in a flat and wonder "why??"the last response she gave me was along the lines of "if appreciate it if we didnt bring this up for now. to put it simply i just didnt think i worked for us. but it will work for you with someone else - just be yourself. im not going to text you anymore about this or anythin else. im sorry thats just how i feel."in response to me asking "what actually happened - im still confused and hope, as a friend, you can help me"i probably shouldnt have bothered.so........my question is. will i EVER get an apology? am i bad for wanting 'closure' as i call it? i guess i just want advice (whether bad or good!) from people who have maybe been/going thru somethin similar.what a dick i do feel though....
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, her ex, his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, thabay408  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 You don't get sense out of a cheat. She wasn't confused. She dint want you. That s cold but waiting for an apology is throwing good time away on a cheat. Problem is you dindt end it~~she did. Right? So close that book now. You write your own closure~ she gave it away~ it's yours now to write & decide.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): she's gone out of your life...... now accept it and move forward.... you have a fresh start... don't repeat the same mistakes.... and your new relationship will be better than your last....you gota lot of work to do.... so learn from your mistakes and handle your business... w0rd up - killa sharkz
...............................
A
male
reader, thabay408 +, writes (5 July 2010):
You're not getting closure from this girl--you gotta move out and move on. Tell your friends to lay off talking about her and seal this off like nuclear waste. Go find, date some girls. You're wasting daylight man.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 July 2010):
 No one owes anyone "closure". When the relationship ended, both of your obligations to the other ceased to exist.You were hurt, and she appears to have gotten away unpunished. That hurts your sense of justice, but it's just the way life works out sometimes.Instead of basing your happiness on seeing "justice" done to everyone, just go out and find your own happiness. Accept that sometimes you get hurt and there's nothing you can do about it. Do you really want some bitch to control your happiness?Go out and learn to be comfortable as a single guy. Then you'll be ready for a new relationship.I speak from a position of sympathy... I had a similar thing happen to me, and it took me a long time to get over it. I'm stronger for it, and you will be too.
...............................
A
male
reader, notaclue +, writes (5 July 2010):
notaclue is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand what you're saying....considering you posted it 3 times!...and yes i guess i am giving her 'the power'. if anything i wanted to know what (and i'll be honest when i say "if anything") i did wrong. ive cut all contact now and there's no games involved. i cannot understand why she still lies (e.g. one mutual friend has asked her "did u really sleep with x" and she has flatly denied it.i'll be quite honest i'm not an alpha male in the least, and i always try and see the best in people and situations though this one is proving to be quite a difficult one....i guess i want her to have her comeuppance. and i want her to apologise. and a part of me just wants to tell the mutual friends what i think of how 'close' they still are to her...after the shite she put me thru...arrgh!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): okay.... your giving her all the power and for that i gota say as a man 22-25 you gota man up and accept that she isn't the one for you. ok she's with another guy.. everything going great... yes everything does start off happy at first..... so just because your two mutual friends are telling you how happy she is... blah blah blah... you f'd up because she's moved on and your still trying to see if she's "okay" f that.... she's has friends/family/new guys.. to be there for her.. not you... and stop wondering why is she with him and not with me... the point is that she left you and even if she did want to come back to you... why would you want to be with her when she left you once.... the same thing will happen again.... this what you gotta do man to man...... talk to yourself man... it's been 6 months... i got over my last in 2 months.... because what's the point thinking about her... when you can't and won't change her mind... you two gave it a chance and she wasn't happy... ok move on to the next one..... cut off all contact..... never call her again.... text her... email her again..... because your giving her all the power over you...... think about what you doing for a girl who left you 6 months ago.... c'mon be a man....don't let the game play you..... - killa sharkz
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): okay.... your giving her all the power and for that i gota say as a man 22-25 you gota man up and accept that she isn't the one for you. ok she's with another guy.. everything going great... yes everything does start off happy at first..... so just because your two mutual friends are telling you how happy she is... blah blah blah... you f'd up because she's moved on and your still trying to see if she's "okay" f that.... she's has friends/family/new guys.. to be there for her.. not you... and stop wondering why is she with him and not with me... the point is that she left you and even if she did want to come back to you... why would you want to be with her when she left you once.... the same thing will happen again.... this what you gotta do man to man...... talk to yourself man... it's been 6 months... i got over my last in 2 months.... because what's the point thinking about her... when you can't and won't change her mind... you two gave it a chance and she wasn't happy... ok move on to the next one..... cut off all contact..... never call her again.... text her... email her again..... because your giving her all the power over you...... think about what you doing for a girl who left you 6 months ago.... c'mon be a man....don't let the game play you..... - killa sharkz
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): okay.... your giving her all the power and for that i gota say as a man 22-25 you gota man up and accept that she isn't the one for you. ok she's with another guy.. everything going great... yes everything does start off happy at first..... so just because your two mutual friends are telling you how happy she is... blah blah blah... you f'd up because she's moved on and your still trying to see if she's "okay" f that.... she's has friends/family/new guys.. to be there for her.. not you... and stop wondering why is she with him and not with me... the point is that she left you and even if she did want to come back to you... why would you want to be with her when she left you once.... the same thing will happen again.... this what you gotta do man to man...... talk to yourself man... it's been 6 months... i got over my last in 2 months.... because what's the point thinking about her... when you can't and won't change her mind... you two gave it a chance and she wasn't happy... ok move on to the next one..... cut off all contact..... never call her again.... text her... email her again..... because your giving her all the power over you...... think about what you doing for a girl who left you 6 months ago.... c'mon be a man....don't let the game play you..... - killa sharkz
...............................
A
female
reader, alien invasion +, writes (5 July 2010):
 You have so much more time to get over it. I think, sometimes, the only option for people in situations like this is to move on and keep forgetting. That should be your motto. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her, change. Change is good. Meet new people and keep bettering yourself. Focus on what makes you happy. I'm not completely sure if you'll ever get an apology, but how long were you guys together? And you're not wrong for wanting closure, everyone wants closure. You'll get it one way or another, whether its from her or not.
Also, people are different. The fact that she moved on shouldn't offend you. It's her own life and her own mind. And she probably doesn't want to talk about it because she's with someone else, she has a boyfriend now. It's in the past now, and things have changed. Just keep living life and make the best of it.
...............................
|
