A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi ~ I have been an exotic dancer for over 1 years on and off. The industry jaded me for a long time, then finally I found love and all that changed. I have a good sex life, although too infrequent, w my partner.. although I can't seem to stop sexualizing everyone in the world. I had no idea I did this until I became aware of using it when we are distant to reel him back in - we all do this I am sure.. but I feel guilty of it in another way.I don't have a lot of female friends in the regular world, and I sexualize all women I meet immediately.. perhaps keeping them at a distance in retrospect. I am uncomfortable w this part of myself... and it sometimes make me insecure and angry at the sex trade all around and pornography and even dancing. Any thoughts ?? Controlled environments are so much safer.... ;)Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 I am not sure what you mean by sexualizing everyone, but your last comment is something any prisoner/soldier will be familiar with.
Never been in prison, but been a soldier and living in a world where everything is arranged is very safe. It took me a long time to get used to having to cook let alone shop for my own food.
I can imagine, that as a dancer you got used to seeing everyone as either a competitor for tips or a cash dispencer.
I would like you to remember one thing, during your time as a dancer you might think you have seen it all, but you didn't. You saw only a tiny part of it. The big outside world is filled with countless people that never even saw the inside of a stipjoint.
In your current relationship, if you constantly have to use sex to get him intrested again, then what is there? What will be there if you can't come up with something new? What is something newer and fresher comes along?
Sex is important in a relationship but if it becomes the only thing that keeps you two together, then it ain't a relationship anymore. Even FWB have at least friendship at the root.
Examine what exactly you got and realize that the whole world ain't the dance floor.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
Were you treated like an object by men in your past? Maybe you feel like an object and not a woman?
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