A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, please could you tell me what you think of an ex-boyfriend texting to say he still cares , and wanting to help in a sutuation involving a family member. we've been together 5 years , but split up 6 weeks ago. he was originally driving past my house alot tc ,but not texting . I initiated the contact , after he saw me , when driving past , and just said hello , how was he. ive told him , he's welsome to call for coffee , and he;s said the same applies to me. do you think he's just trying to be friends , or that he's confused about how he feels . he split with me , as he said he loves me to bits , but had grown tired of me. he's also said in atext - he's ok , but just plodding on ? any idea's thanks
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 This sounds more like a dazed and confused situation. You two need to take things slow and he needs to focus on trying to learn how to treat you right and you him right.
I don't know how old you are, but think of it this way. In life, if we actually get lucky enough to meet someone we truly love, and possibly are in love with (seems this is the case with you two), then you need to learn to love each other and mature together.
Boredom in a relationship starts when a couple stop paying attention to each other or fail to try and do things special.
If you've got this much time invested in your relationship, and he is driving by and pining for you, its because he misses you.
Maybe you should consider things that you never did before. Try and reconnect on a basic, emotional level and try and understand that love is not a one way street. You both have to adjust your lives and put down the egos.
Focus on each other and listen to each other. Maybe he has some goals or dreams you can help him with. Maybe you have some goals or dreams he can help you with. Part of being a couple is working together towards something you both want.
When you earn what you want together, its rewarding just to go through it and "win" as a "team".
What I think he's doing is wondering why that hasn't happened yet. Possibly because in his mind, subconsciously, he realizes it but his ego won't let it come through. Maybe you too.
Its also possible that maybe you two made a mistake splitting up and now he really sees that and wants to undo it.
Before you throw all that time out, which is so precious to begin with, try and see if you can find out ways to make things better together. There's plenty of room there for trying.
Why be miserable apart when you can be happy together?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): He's obviously going to care after a 5 year relationship. He clearly cares for your family and probably wants to keep a friendship with you. Call him round for a coffee and see where things lead. IF you want to stay friends then do that if you want to get back with the guy then keep going for him.
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A
female
reader, The Girl in the Green Scarf  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 DO you trust him? Trust what he says? If you do then believe it. Youcant just throw away years of feelings in a few weeks. But always remember just because he cares doesnt meen hes ready to give it another shot. Your situation is a mirror image to mine and i got too excited when he started expressing his caring and expected too much from it. Dont jump to conclusions if you want him back just let it ride out and always be prepared for it to not work out as well. Only time will tell just stay strong, keep busy and always make sure your being you
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