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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up for good with my ex in February. We had a rocky 6 year long relationship. There was a lot of chemistry between us, but there were also trust issues. It all began with him finding out about my past. He reacted so badly that I feared being honest, which created a vicious cycle. Just so you know, I was a virgin when I met him and yet he was upset about my past. Like I said I dumped him for good in February. Later on I heard through mutual friends that he cheated on me several times during those 6 years. It makes sense to me, as he was vindictive and he felt that he needed to "get even" with me due to my past (despite the fact that he wasn't a virgin when I met him or anything). He denies having cheated on me.I broke all contact with him in April and I'm much happier. He still texts me though. It seems he's not over me and still harbors hope that we'll get back together. I don't know what to do. I tried telling him I'd never take him back when we last talked (April). I've been with someone else (long distance, casual). I know that if I tell him that I slept with someone else he won't want to do anything with me and that could push him to move on instead of hoping I'll take him back. I want him to move on. Despite how awful he was to me (verbally abusive, etc.) I don't want him to suffer and I wish he'll find someone who makes him happy. However, he is jealous, controlling, possessive and vindictive. I'm afraid that if I tell him, he'll do something in revenge. He has intimate pictures and videos of me which he could use to humiliate me publicly (please no judgment, I trusted him back then).Should I be honest with him so he can move on or should I keep no contact until he realizes I won't get back together with him?
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broke up, cheated on me, get back together, jealous, move on, my ex, revenge, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, commonguy30  +, writes (23 August 2013):
Dont feed him info. Its your life he has no right to it. He is case book reto jealousy. I used to be too, took a long time for me to get past that. Still struggle with it every now and then today.
Best thing to do is block all forms of communication. It will take time but eventually he will find someone else to stalk...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2013):
 Keep the no contact. Telling him you slept with someone else is like lighting gunpowder.
He knows already, he might not admit or accept it, but he knows - you really don't have to bend it in neon for him.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (22 August 2013):
 I had an ex who kept contacting me even though I told him I never wanted to hear from him again. I blocked him on e-mail, and ignored his texts. It took him two years to finally get the message. If you're able to block him on your e-mail, phone, facebook, etc, do it. Ignore him and he'll eventually get the message. If he shows up at your place of work or at home, call the police, because that's stalking.
Your biggest fear is if those videos or photos get leaked. What is the worst that can happen? Some of your friends / family will find out? People's concentration span are so small these days, you'll be the topic of conversation for 5 minutes and then it'll be forgotten, and it will be a poor reflection on your ex. People will label him crazy and vindictive for doing something like that to you. If someone did that to my friend, I will despise that person and embarrass him in public every chance I get. Your true friends will rally around you and his character will be sullied.
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