A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so upset at the moment and have been for the past month after my ex-boyfriend came back into my life. He ended things 6 months ago, and after much effort on my part to make things work, I finally gave up and moved on. I met someone else and things were great. I convinced myself that my ex didnt care or love me.However, about 1 month ago, out of the blue I get a text from my ex, with a really stupid reason to text me, it actually made me wonder why he bothered, and I think it was to just make some contact.We started texting and then emailing. He told me that, looking back, perhaps things didnt have to end, but life went down a funny road, he tells me he still loves me and could see himself having kids, marriage and getting a house with me, he said we were always meant to be together.This turned my world upside down, as he then declared he was going travelling for 6 months to take his mind off what hurts. Before he went travelling we met up a few times and hugged, kissed and also had sex, which was excellent. He told me he still loves me and I am so beautiful and when he gets back from travelling we can be together if things haven't changed, but he asked me not to forget about him if things have changed. He has now gone travelling and I am so upset!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi - thanks for the feedback. I have not used this site before so you must be mistaken!
A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Im gonna be brutally honest with you now hun, but dont build your hopes up on this one. I was in the same sort of position as you back in the summer. My ex came back on the scene after he dumped me 3 years ago for another girl. It took me months to get over it. Then he comes back in to my life turned it upside down, made me fall for him again and then he left me, AGAIN! Although I should never of even thought about taking him back, I was very wary and tried to justify the reasons for me getting back with him. This time round I was always on my guard and paranoid about getting hurt again, good thing too because in the end he dumped me again. And Im still not over it now.
So what Im saying is, your ex is an ex for a reason. Even if you did get back together you will find that it wont be the same as before. You will always have your doubts, like I did, and if he ends up hurting you again you will find yourself like I did - heartbroken all over again. The fact that he has just gone travelling would worry me a bit as well.....6 months is a long time and in that time either of you could have a change of heart or meet someone else. If he is true in what he says, that he loves you and wants to be with you, then he needs to say it and prove it. Not go off and expect you to lie back and wait for him. It also makes me wonder whether he was saying all this to you just to make you think he wanted you back just so he could go off travelling in the knowledge that you are not at home meeting other men! I know that sounds harsh but you need to think of all the reasons and you really need to ask yourself do you really want to put yourself at risk of getting hurt again? I know I certainly didnt, and going back to my ex was the biggest mistake of my life.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (14 December 2008):
 He must have been at a lose end when he came back into your life, then left again. I personally wouldnt trust this situation. He hasnt treat you very well messing around with your head. Try to remember all the things why you split up in the first place and then think about what you want from him when or if he comes back to you. The current relationship you have cannot be the one for you as well or you would have sent your ex packing without sleeping with him. You have a lot of questions to ask yourself before y ou can make a clear decision. But at the end of the day if youre ex doesnt come back, are y ou with the right one anyway? hope this helps.
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