A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Two years ago I got divorced. We were married for 12 years. Before that I was in a long relationship with what was my childhood sweetheart. We started dating in our early teens and were together for 10 years. It all ended badly, we both went our seperate ways, got married, had kids and that was that. For 15 years, we had no contact what so ever. 6 months ago, we found each other on the internet, and quickly realised that we still had very strong feelings for each other. we chatted regularly for a number of months until about 2 weeks ago when we finally met up. It was very weird but the feelings were definitely still there although, as yet, nothing has happened. Thing is, she is still married, and I have this problem taking this any further because of that. My ex left me for another man, after having an affair, so I have spent the last 2 years criticising everyone who does the same but I really want to get back with her. We were inseperable when we were young and I know we would be again.No one knows of our new friendship and to be honest, even that fills me with guilt. The girl in question seems to not have the reservations that I have and is constantly figuring out ways that we can meet, I am in no doubt that she wants to take things further.What the hell do I do. This is not just some fly-by-night fling. I loved her dearly when we were young, and if I'm honest, I still do. Should I let things just... happen??
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affair, divorce, my ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Do not be tempted to disrupt another man's marriage. If you are mature enough, you will realize that everything in your path is not yours to consume. It is childish to be a slave to our feelings. The true meaning of love is selfless actions for others and nothing more. Snap out of it and get back on your path!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): I think this is a fantasy for you and her. 1st of all, a solid relationship is based on trust, and she has broken that with her husband with you. Do you really want a woman that does that to her husband? How about telling her you both should stay friends. I think this would be a emotional roller coaster because she has not made a clean break from her husband, and this is setting yourself up for heartbreak.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Try to think of the reasons why it ended badly before, are those reasons still around to haunt you both? She is still married, what is she playing at?
I would suggest you could keep chatting online until she decides what she wants to do with her 'husband'. Otherwise, where are you in this picture. The 'other man' when she is cheating on her current husband. It would be lovely for her to leave him and be back with her childhood sweetheart in your eyes. You have no one else at the moment and it is easy for you to fall back into her life but at the end of the day, things could be very complicated for her to uplift everything to be with you. Try to think of the people who would get hurt by all this and also you are right, you don't agree with it but you could end up been the bad guy in all this. hope this helps.
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