A
female
age
,
*allie_2
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm in a long distance relationship for a little over two years now. Last weekend while visting my boyfriend, I snooped in his cell phone. I had a gut feeling for a few months that something might be up , but everything he said seemed to check out. so when I snooped, I really didn't think that I would find anything. Well, I was wrong, he's been texting with a women, asking her out to dinner and other texts ask what time he should pick her up.What to do..... I want to confront him, but this ins't enough to prove cheating is it,a nd how do I confront him? I snooped and that is betrayal too.I honestly belived him when he told me that he would never cheat on me. He knew that I had been cheated on before and said that was the worst thing that anyone could do to each other in a relstinhsip.Any advice please!!!!!!
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (21 May 2009):
 I hope you got at least some of the answers you were looking for.
A
female
reader, callie_2 +, writes (21 May 2009):
callie_2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionup date......
Hey Grimm, just wanted to thank you for your advice and concern. Its nice to know there are people our there who truly have compassion for antohers feelings.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (13 May 2009):
A Half truth is still a whole lie.
Yeah, since he was concerned how you felt about it, he decided to keep it from you.
Callie, this guy is so full of shit his teeth are floating. Of course he manipulated you, and made you feel guilty.
THATS WHAT CHEATERS DO!
As I said, they lie,they cheat, then they lie to cover it up, then lie to make it seem like your fault, then lie that they ever lied in the first place.
Ditch this piece of garbage..PRONTO
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A
female
reader, callie_2 +, writes (13 May 2009):
callie_2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUp date......
I talked with my boyfriend this past weekend,it didn't go how I had planned it to, and the out come is that I'm the one that ended up apologizing!! For snooping in his cell. His response was that this is a co-worker who he has become friends with and they hang out together.
Going for walk, hanging out at the bar after work and going out to dinner.
Said he didn't tell me about it because he knew I would make more out of it is then there was, and that if I cant handle him having a friendship then that is my problem.
So, I take all the quilt on myself and feel bad because I snooped and now I sit here and think , bull shit!!
He didn't tell me , lie of ommition right, he's spending time with her alone when he knew it would make me feel uncomfortable, so he shouldn't right?
Or am I wrong on that one?
And the look on his face when I said I knew was like the ones on my kids faces when I caught them lying. Pure guilt and a lot of fidgeting.
Opinions out there on what is acceptable for men and women to do with friends?
When you are in a relationship and you have a friend of the oposite sex, what should the limits be?
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A
male
reader, Polite Fellow  +, writes (4 May 2009):
I have a couple of opinions,One being you don't know for certain that this meeting was for a date and not a casual catch up between friends or work colleagues, of course it may have been obvious from the wording on the text message (kisses etc)more importantly you should not feel as if you have betrayed him for checking his phone. I'd be happy for my girlfriend to check my phone if she felt the need to, if she confronted me about something i would feel a little surprised at the lack of trust but to be honest I'd be happy to talk about it because i have nothing to hide. In my opinion the only time a negative reaction would be received is if the person had something that they didn't want seen.I know it must be hard to confront him about it but it may have to be done, although like the clever chap that replied before me said, you may need other evidence as if your man comes up with a just passable excuse you may still not know the truth. then he may be more careful in future and leave you in the unknown.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 May 2009):
Ok Callie, so you found out he's been texting. One thing I have to say here is that as much as you may not want to hear this...in the end LDRs never work. It didnt in my case, and it was disasterous.I was much in the same boat you were. Whether or not checking his phone is snooping is immaterial because your suspicions were proven. God only knows that you likely have only scratched the surface.I think you need to confront your man, but alas it may just be that you need more proof. I know that feeling as well.You had been cheated on before, I know that pain too. Its the main reason why I came here, and to this day on this forum try to help victims of cheaters and shame cheaters that appear looking for justification.as far as it being an LDR, really they dont work in the end. You may find a handful of exceptions, but those are usually between people that are very solid and honest with each other. That seems to be the problem with LDRs. Since you are not physically next to the other person, they feel it easier to lie.And we know its not the initial cheating that is as bad as the continued lying(when confronted with evidence, begging you it was either "just one time" or "It wont happen again".You and I both know it will continue unfettered unless exposed.Please feel free to PM me, I have some ideas for you that if you truly want to find out from a distance, you can.I will always extend the hand of compassion to anyone that is cheated on, either emotionally or physically, for I loathe cheaters in any form
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