A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know almost all married couples have arguments and fight occasionally. The thing which bothers me is every time we have a big argument, my husband threatens of divorce. We have a 3 yr old son and have been together for 8 yrs. We are Indians and divorce is not common for us. I never see divorce as an option. I always tell him our differences are not big enough as to divorce each other and we have to think about our son too. Has anyone else faced this? what should I make of this?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 he is just saying that to scare you and make you avoid arguments which in turn could mean that he will be able to get away with a lot of bull. next time instead of arguing just remain calm tell him what you dont like and if he "talks back" just walk away and tell him you refuse to argue about it because you dont want a divorce but you want him to not do........because it upsets you and you don't approve of it
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (11 February 2009):
 Hi there, I have never been married but have observed a few couples during their married lives. I think this, as you have already guessed, is your husband's ultimate weapon, he knows that if he threatens divorce, you will either shut up or be afraid that he will follow through, so you forget about what she wanted him to see as your point and he gets to win in a way. He doesn't mean it or he would have filed already. I suggest that when you have a point to make, that you try to set down with him and discuss the issue in a reasonable way. If it escalates, then make a cup of tea or something and tell him that you two should discuss it later. Take the temperature down a notch. He is not given to diliberating, he sees it his way and feels that you should too, life is not that way, so you are going to have to modify the way you two present your viewpoints. If he
continues to shout divorce, see if you can convince him to go with you to a marriage counselor, you have to resolve differences in order to stay married, and he has to have more patience. Perhaps a third party could make him see what the problem is and how to correct it. Stay in touch and hopefully some of these pointers will help with your problem. Don't allow yourself to be suppressed, it is not healthy,. Let him know you love him, but ask him to realize that things have to be talked out. Good luck. Take care.
...............................
|
