A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating this great guy, but he's been pulling back for a couple of days and I'm wondering what's going on. We've been dating for about three weeks. We live in two different cities so its about a three hour round trip for him to come visit. He's come out to the city I live in five times to visit. He has called and texted me everyday since our first date.The chemistry is great on every level. On the third date he said he didn't want to see other people and I agreed. The fifth date was our longest (since it was on a weekend day), we didn't do anything too eventful, just hung out, and it was also great. He's brought me a couple of nice little presents, one of which was something I had mentioned I liked in conversation. He even bought my sister (who he hasn't met) a present related to an interest I mentioned she has. He's brought up things he'd like to do together, like trips, etc., and has asked me a number of future oriented questions.The day after our fifth date everything was great, he was texting and calling and said he wished I lived closer so he could see me everyday. Then for the past couple of days I can just tell that he's pulling back. He's still texted everyday a few times, and called once, but the conversation was much shorter and less personal and I felt like he was calling more out of obligation than wanting to talk to me. I'm confused about what's going on? Has he changed his mind, or is this some sort of freak out that will run its course?
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female
reader, bebe87 +, writes (6 October 2011):
 The thing about guys is they don’t give a relationship all this effort then just pull back all of a sudden for no reason. I would point blank ask him, “Are you talking with someone else” as that sort of information guys don’t tend to volunteer. You should be someone’s first choice; not feeling like they are making a phone call like it’s a chore. My advice is back off a tad, change up your responses to text messages, and let HIM be the first to text/call you in the day. Make him realize he has to step up too and it isn’t just him with the hot/cold temperatures of the relation between you two. Long distance relationships are very difficult if both partners aren’t 110 percent giving effort. Are you sure you want this?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): Ask him is he ok, say that he seems a bit down or different.
He could also be observing your interest level, because he definitely seems keen, maybe don't wait for him to call you, call him an odd time. It shows hat you are interested in him, maybe suggest going somewhere nice on a date. He could just want more input from you to reassure himself that you are into him, so try give that a go.
Failing that, Have a talk with him say you feel he is losing interest and you wouldn't like that to happen because you like him a lot.
Hope it works out for you.
Good luck.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): Personally, it sounds like he might just be in a slump (if that makes sense) Like, he still wants to talk to you every day, but maybe he's just feeling gloomy. We all have those off days, it could just be something he's going through. Have you tried asking him if anything is wrong? It sounds like you would be someone he would talk to openly.
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