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*yanalf
writes:HelloI love my wife of 25 years. However, I can't seem to talk to her in any other manner other than anger or dismissive. It seems almost everything she does annoys me. I am trying to talk to her more as a friend, but damn she does stuff, that annoys me. (eg she moved the pans we kept in the oven, to the three season room, it took me twenty minutes to find them., she is late every time we go out, we will be late going somewhere and she wants to run errands.)Help me get past these feelings of annoyance.thanx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2015): In general nobody tells the truth about relationships. We either get the glossed over 'everything's perfect' or fighting in the divorce courts. There is nobody on this planet who wouldn't get on your nerves after 25 years.That's where compromise comes in. You probably get on her nerves too and as you get older,weaker,maybe deaf shortsighted and forgetful youll probably find each other more annoying.So you have to make allowances.If she's really irritating you think how many times you must have done the same too her. Try and laugh about it. Life isnt easy or pleasant so we have to get round it by laughing at it. Try singing a chirpy song. Get a few hobbies you do without your wife.Get her to go out with her friends. This way you find the focus isnt just your relationship but the world out there.Don't worry about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): Do you have OCD? OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Were you ever in the military? Some people want things done a certain way. I agree with what someone below said, that seeing a psychologist would help. You have already completed the first step, which is realizing that you have a problem, eg. you are trying to get over it and you did not come on here trying to change her.
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reader, FlyWoo-Man +, writes (19 September 2009):
 Well I don't have much experience as you do, but I had the same issue with my boyfriend of five years. I couldn't help treating him bad, and blowing up in his face. So what I did was see a psychologist, and sometimes friends. I realized the problem was more my issue than his, even though he did things that were really idiotic, it was my problem because I didn't know how to deal with it. sometimes after spending so much time with someone you need to interact with someone that isn't that person all the time. I feel that when I spent time with a few friends, or family I felt refreshed and wanted to spend time with him and laugh at the dumb things we would say or do together. Have you tried sleeping in different bedrooms for awhile or different beds? Or spending and afternoon with family, or friends?
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