A
female
age
36-40,
*ana_love_good
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up after two months of dating, we had been trying to be together for a year, but I was having a hard time leaving my current boyfriend at that time. Well, we get together, and I was still going through issues from my last relationship. According to my bf, I would take my anger out on him. So in a since I wasn't able to control my emotions. I said horrible things to him, out of anger, and he was terribly hurt. I did not understand the actions of my words until one day I told him, I didn't think he love me. This is when he finally spoke up. He told me about how he had felt over a long period of time. In doing so I realized that I was cruel, that I had done him to wrong. So in tears and a slight panic attack, I floored it over to his house to let him know that I was aware of cruelty and I loved him and the change was not going to be an effort because I knew what I had to do. He told me he was not going anywhere. So days and weeks after this, I noticed that he started to change, he wouldn't call as often, he was irritable, and he just seemed like he didn't want to talk to me. Finally bringing the situation to him, he said that he didn't know if he had enough love for me anymore. So by this time, I'm able to feel like him, the love and the hurtful feelings based on his actions. I hung up the phone because it was too painful. So a few days later I call to see if we are done, or if we should work it out. He said we were done, but he was sending me mixed messages, like keeping pictures of us up, and keeping me number one in his blogging sites. So I called a week later and tried to understand if he had love for me. He told me he didn't. I asked him if he thought about me, he would hesitate and say no. I asked him if I made him miserable, he would hesitate and say, "yes, but not in the way you think." Every question I asked, he hesistated, including the if he loved me part. So he tells me, that it's best I not call anymore for a while. And he tells me, not to close off my heart, because there maybe someone out there better than him. I don't believe that he would not have love for me if he truely loved me. We fought so hard to be together that he would give up after two months. My instincts and intuition tell me that this is not over, but my heart weeps for him, and my mind can't stop thinking about him. Should I move on, or work on myself and see if he will come back? Do you think he still loves, me, and is playing a cruel game, because of what I did to him?
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female
reader, Lana_love_good +, writes (21 September 2009):
Lana_love_good is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so very much for the awesome advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): I think he finally got you after the chase and realized the prize he wanted wasn't as desired as the game.
I think this sounds like a very immature relationship, sorry. The fact that you were in a relationship with someone else for a year and you couldon't leave and you fought so hard to be together makes absolutely no sense.
You are not mature enough to be in a serious relationship, so I think you should just play the field and keep your options open until you figure your self out.
Yes work on you, put your focus on you and stop crying and whining over a two month relationship...it never was anything real, just a lot of game playing from the sounds of it.
Try being out of a relationship for awhile so that you can gain self knowledge, self love and self confidence. You don't need a man to have any of that and if you don't know who you are first or love yourself first, then you are going to continue to be in unhealthy relationships and attract immature men to you.
Good luck, I am sure you will be much happier on your own for awhile, a good while I hope.
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