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anonymous
writes: HII have had a couple of relationships that ended due to them cheating on me. Last time it was with one of my friends. I've never had much luck with relationships. One of the guys even used to call me names telling me I was fat, which I'm not; he just knew how to upset me.Now I'm with a guy who is wonderful and totally different to anyone one else I've been with. He tells me he loves me, as I do him. I also have 2 kids which he has taken on, having none of his own. My problem is that after 12 months of being with this man, I still seem unable to relax. I always seem to look for things to go wrong, still keep thinking that when something better comes along I will be history. I hate him going out cuz I get upset thinking he is with someone else, even though deep down I know he wouldn't do that to me. I dont ever accuse him of anything, I keep it bottled up and get myself upset.I'm not possessive either, although he does know of my insecurities and understands why I'm the way I am.I guess I just need to feel more confident that he is with me cuz he wants to be.He has his own house and my kids and I stay there often. I drive his car have a key to his house and stay there even when he is working. I know that if he wasn't serious about me none of this would be happening.I seem to think that its all too good to be true and something has to go wrong. I know it's down to being let down in the past.Just wish I could let it go one and for all.Any advice would be great.Thanks for reading.kx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005): I have just come out of a relationship with the perfect man. He treated me like a princess and, like you, I was also with complete losers before and I now have ruined that relationship with that perfect man because of my insecurities. I must admit I am now completely heartbroken. He wasn't too good to be true, I just hadn't found out that I was looking in the wrong places.Don't let the losers from your past come back to haunt you and get in the way of your happiness because you might as well still be with them.Give your new man a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised and if not don't give up hope, although if you still don't believe that your man is being true, look at your life: you have keys to his house, he lets you stay there when he is at work (with your children) he accepts your children. You said it yourself, if he wasn't serious about you or he had something to hide, there is no way he would let you do those things especially driving his car as anyone could see you driving it. Just let yourself be happy or you will end up bitter about never letting yourself be happy, just give it a go. I wish had and remember life is too short to put up barriers around yourself. Take care and good luck xxx M, UNITED KINDOM
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2005): I have been where you are now and it took me a while to believe in my instincts again as far as men were concerned. You are suffering fom what I call the should I-shouldn't I effect. Should I open myself up to the possibility that this could be a genuine and good man, or keep my guards up and be prisoner to my fears of the past repeating themselves?All I can tell you really is that nothing in this life is certain and set in stone apart from the fact we are born and we will one day die. Give yourself a break and put the past to rest; only then can you be a bit more willing to open up more with your new partner.You deserve a chance of happiness and perhaps this one is the real deal.You will never know unless you try. Don`t you all deserve a shot at a happy life? I hope this will be of some help to you but have faith.
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