A
female
age
30-35,
cavwils12
writes:This is a tip for people who are being bullied. PLEASE TELL SOMEONE IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF BULLYING NO MATTER WHAT TYPE IT IS OR HOW SMALL. It is devastating to hear on the news about a young person committing suicide over bullying. I do not understand why people feel the need to treat others so wrong. The reason this subject is so meaningful to me is because I have a younger sister in high school and she is very quiet, has maybe 4 close friends and is currently being bullied in school. She has locked herself in her room now, she will not talk to anyone, all she does is lay in bed and stares at her ceiling. I went to the school and I spoke to the counselor there but of course nothing is being done. My sister has now refused to eat, go out anywhere and she is talking about ways to get back at them. Now my sister is actually very strong. She is very talented in MMA and although she is capable of defending herself, this is not the path I want her to follow. She cannot stand being bullied everyday. It hurts me to see her this way and I am looking for other schools to put her in. I know bullying is everywhere but at least she can start somewhere new. I will do what I can the proper way to make sure nothing extreme happens. But people need to understand how important it is to take action when it comes to bullying. Be smart and strong and know that you are not alone. Thank You. this was also a way to express my feelings.
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male
reader, gamer5443  +, writes (24 December 2010):
if it is verbal bullying then it shouldnt be that bad because it is not hard to brush words aside but physical bullying is more seriouse and if she is talented in mma then she should use it for self defence cos whats worse letting people punch you or standing up for yourself hitting them and then them leaving you alone because i can take alot of punches because i didnt stand up for my self i just let them hit me and sometimes tried annoying them which only made them hit me more if i was talented in mma i wouldve used it because it is not fun getting punched
A
male
reader, Ignacio ramos +, writes (6 December 2010):
I hate bullys my mom was smart she enrolled me in to shotokan karate at age 5 at age 9 got my first black belt.as a young boy going to school in dinuba i used to get to fights at school with 6 bullys
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 December 2010):
 One would imagine the martial arts experience only makes it harder for her. These days, zero tolerance policies make self-defense a quick ticket out of school. Having the power to defend oneself and no way to use it must suck. She has my sympathies.
The only real motivation is that kids are cruel. They are narcissistic little pricks, still in the process of their moral development, and expecting them to act like adults is unrealistic. Until they grow into their adult, moral selves (many people never do), the only thing on their miind will be the dominance heirarchy, established either through physical beatings or emotional torment.
I was bullied pretty badly all up through middle school - physically and emotionally. Managed to get through both, in different ways. In hindsight, most of it could have been avoided if I hadn't been such a brat (not to imply all bullying is deserved, just saying that in my case it was understandable).
Fortunately, my schools had yet to institute zero-tolerance policies against self defense. There were a few fights every year, all self-defense (or, in one or twoo cases, defending a friend), until one in seventh grade where I got tired of it and threw the first punch. Knocked the kid out in one shot. Never got physically bullied again in my life, despite five more years of school with the same kids, though I was nearly thrown out of school for it. I'd say it was worth it, and believe to this day that in some, very specific cases, throwing the first punch in response to enough verbal disrespect ought to be acceptable. Sort of a modification of the Heinlein quote, "An armed society is a polite society."
Frankly, bullies nowadays know they don't have to fear a physical response to emotional torment, so it's probably much worse than when I was younger.
Emotional bullying is a whole different animal. Tough to quantify, hard to prove, and running to get a teacher only invites more - often from new people who dislikes tattling. In my case, I developed a very thick skin. Sure, went home on the edge of tears a few times, but it really toughened me up. By high school there was basically nothing anyone could say that would get me mad, and I could sling comebacks with the best of them. At the same time, I never became a bully myself.
Problem is, it unrealistic to expect everyone to just grow into it that way. Long-term, I benefited from it, but not everyone can. Everyone has a different inborn ability to tolerate it, and many people are not blessed with the supportive family and friends that I had. Others, even with that option, are just too physically small to ever stand up for themselves in a fight - and these days, it seems no one fights one-on-one anymore, they always gang up. An easy path out of being bullied is to become one yourself, and for some kids that's the moost realistic option. They have my pity, for what it's worth.
The best solution really is to get to the point (emotionally and physically) where it can't hurt you anymore, where you have the power to stop it. The powerlessness is the worst part - no amount of counseling or family support can help with the feeling of powerlessness. But it's an unfeasible solution for far too many people, just like trying to have authority figures stop it.
With kids unable to physically stand up for themselves or their friends, with so many kids living in broken homes that have to pass parenting duties on to woefully unprepared schools, the only recourse is to learn to talk crap - an incompletet and ineffective solution. Changing schools only delays the problem. Honestly, I don't think there is a really practical solution for the problem. Kids will always be little snots.
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