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Everyone is blaming me for my ex boyfriends behaviour.

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Right i have wrote on here about alcoholic ex bf. well to cut a long story short i am not with him anymore and dont intend to be i am so glad i have finally seen the light,although i fear when he gets out of jail(for smashing me and my mums house up because i finished with him) he will come back and terrorize us.The problem i have now is my family are disgusted with me for going back to him in the past and feel that it is my fault as i have forgiven him in the past for the same thing,so basically what they are saying is if i didnt go back with him then he would have eventually dissapeared, what they dont understand is the mental and emotional torture he put me through and how he manipulated me they just think its my fault and they look at me with disdain to say the least. i have noticed when they greet me they do it with a forced sound to their voice and i feel really annoyed by it all. My aunty was round tonight and she was funny with me and when she left my mum said that my aunty just said that she cant beleive that im putting my mum through this and that all she will do is go back to him!! i find this really hard to cope with ,things ahve been bad enough without feeling like the people i thought would be there for me actually blame me for his behavior. what do i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks guys!! well he hasnt come round but mums still going on and on.She is on the phone upstairs talking about it all with my sister!! i suppose im just gonna have to wait till everything calms down untill things feel a little bit better.il keep you updated hopefully the next tie im on here il have something happy to say!!

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A female reader, huffygirl88 United States +, writes (1 April 2010):

I feel your pain everyone blames me for my ex-boyfriends behaveor to but you might just have to get a restraing order or flat out tell him stay away from you because we are done with everything with him so leave me alone or you will be in trouble. If that doesnt work you will just have to get a restraing order on him. Hope this helped

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh god i have just found out that he hasnt got jailed it got adjourned,my mum seen him up town and she is going mad,i have told her there is nothing we can do about it and we cannot let him control our lives,obviously im worried about what he might dobut i am not going to let it control me.The thing is my mum is being a nightmare about it.You could cut the atmosphere with a knife,as i said before they are all blaming me for his behavior and she even asked me earlier if i had said anything to him,implying that i may have given him advice with regards to the court system and pleading guilty in other words did i tell him that whenever he gets in to trouble to plead guilty or not guilty so that he gets off lightly!! its just ridiculous which i told her so,i basically said do you really think that he would listen to me and have i got some sort of special powers to cheat the court system or police.What the hell can i do about this apart from go mental soon i think.I am so angry and let down by my family and really dont know what to do about this situation.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou it really helps to get an outside oppinion and i kinda knew it in a way but with everyone blaming e someties you isten. Thanks again xx

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A female reader, WiseAngela23 United States +, writes (1 April 2010):

Your ex's actions have nothing to do with you. You are responsible for your actions as well as he for his. The only thing both of you would be accountable for is if you got pregnant. Tell those people that it is his decision to act this way and has nothing to do with you.

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