A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone,I'm having problems with one of my teachers. I am at university and have one tutor in particular who takes me for most of my classes. She has been very helpful to me this year, doing things like taking me home when i'm unwell and taking me to appointments too. We often talk outside class times and discuss all kinds of things, and she has become a real confidante for me. We sometimes have really huge fights and scream at each other though, which makes me feel awful because I dont usually get in trouble. I often say hurtful things that I regret later.... is this kind of relationship normal? Others are assuming that something is going on between us. I know that I shouldn't care what others think but it's more than my reputation at stake. Is my only option to cut all communication with my tutor? It seems so unfair as I am an adult. and i don't want to hurt her feelings either. One girl even said she was going to make a complaint... which seems crazy because it has nothing to do with her. What can I do?
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female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (17 October 2005):
I think that pops was being a little too harsh to you there but, at the same time, made a very good point. There isn't much you can do I'm afraid. Try and reason with your collegues. Tell them that there isn't anything going on between you two and just hope for the best.
A
reader, pops +, writes (4 October 2005):
Try behaving yourself when you are around her. If she is your tutor, you are paying her, or someone is paying her to help you with your studies. That is hard work, and she is entitled to every possible degree of respect from you. How dare you shout and scream at her, like some 8 year old brat having an temper tantrum? If you are frustrated at your courses, join the crowd. Maybe you should spend time like the other students at your school trying to learn all the new stuff without the benefit of a tutor. You want frustration? That will get the job done. It did for most of us. Grow up. Apologize to the tutor before she fires herself. You richly deserve that and I am surprised she hasn't terminated her employment already.
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