A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Iv had my eye on this fella iv known for quiet a while. There is amazing chemistry between us, we seldom see each other but over the last few years every time we have met we have hooked up. We got "reaquinted" :) over xmas (i hadnt seen him in months before that)-we do stay in touch via texts and facebook but for the last year especially we have both been single and i dont know where i stand with him and he never asks me out for a date - argh its just so frusatrating.So im always hoping i bump into him on a night out. Mutual friends we have in common tell me he really likes me - if so then why doesnt he make a proper move?Its so frustrating im ready to just cut all ties with him cos im scared hes just taking me for a fool.any advice greatly appreicated, thanks a mil xx Jennifer
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): thanks for your feedback guys, sorry should of said by "hook up" i didnt mean sex - i havnt allowed things get that far. what frustrates me is why he doesnt ask me out on a date, hate leaving it to chance that we might just bump into each other.
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 How do mean 'make a proper move?' What, you think he should ask you out for a date? Suggest that you become boyfriend and girlfriend? Why would he?
Every time you meet him, you allow him to have sex. What a great situation for him. He doesn't have to work at a relationship with you, he doesn't have to be considerate, or even nice. You see each other, then wham.
If I were him, I wouldn't bother either, everything is too easy.
He is using you for sex. I despair that you can't see this fact. You are even trying to make excuses for his behaviour. Well if he liked you as a potential girlfreind, he would have made a 'proper' move by now. But like I said, when you do the sex thing first, and try to get acquainted second, it never works out.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Two things could be happening. One, he just sees you as a hookup. That could be because that's what he wants, or maybe it's what he thinks you want. Two, he's just shy because he thinks a hookup is what you want. The next time you two are together face to face you could just ask him about it. Who knows, maybe he would have no idea you were interested and suddenly want to date you. But most likely he just sees you as a fun hookup. Doesn't mean he doesn't respect you, but it does mean he probably doesn't want a relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2010):
If you're having sex when he sees you, then he's just using you. Other than that, he could just be shy. I think you need to talk to him about it all. But remember what I said. If when you get 're-acquainted' you're having sex, chances are you're being used.
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