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Every time my g/f talks about her past I get pissed off

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2012)
A male Singapore age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Let me start off with introductions.My girlfriend and I have been together for like 3 months already. But we have known each other for 3 years already,took us long before we really bonded since we didn't really talk in the past. Well doesn't matter. Recently she told me everything about her pasts ( i already found out but didn't told her ), lets just say some nasty things happened with her ex. She was pretty devastated n few months later we got tgt.I fetch her almost everyday,send her to home every night,i m always there for me.I didn't mind abt her at all since i really love her, i accepted everything. Things are great but sometimes i feel like i m intruding her with her past. Everytime she talks abt her ex or things that happened last time, i feel glad she's telling me but also i feel like she still miss her ex (She told me she is done,hates him, n even me everything chats between she n her ex,)her past, i feel like i m intruding her i don't know why.It always make me moody though i do not show it when i am with her. Also when she talks about it,it kinda makes me think back of my past too, making it worse.But i understand so i didn't made a big deal out of it n things were going great. But these days she's been very moody lately,i mean like EVERYDAY. Its not PMS, i can tell its all about her ex n yeah they still talk. She always send me sweet messages, write letter about how much she loves me n how i m the only one but i am starting to have doubts. I am starting to feel like our relationship is breaking down, we just talked just now n she was moody still. i asked her whats wrong n she just say nothing. She told me not to fetch her but ltr i insisted i come n she was cool with it. I tried giving her time already,it worked but the moodswing just keep bouncing back somehow. I don't know what to do.. My friends say dump her, but i love her ALOT n i don't want to lose her but also i don't want to b suffering every single time her random moods comes up. I really feel like i m intruding n i shud leave but my heart keeps telling me not to. Everytime i try something to tell her i m feeling like this, things will just go freaking great on that day n i would just let it go.. But it can't b repeating. Everytime she is moody, i m moody. Everytime she talks about her pasts, i get pissed ( but i understand),feel like intruding. i don't know what to do.. Please help.

View related questions: her ex, her past

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think she is missing her ex, I think she is telling you all this in a way for her to make sense of some of it. Talking to someone who you think doesn't judge you can really help. So whether you like it or not you are helping her by listening.

You really need to sit down face-to-face and talk. Neither of you are mind readers so who knows what's going on. TALK.

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A female reader, franny1297 United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2012):

franny1297 agony aunthi, you really love her right? stay with her. she shouldn't be talking about her ex, because of what's happening now. tell her that you really love her but you don't like it when she talks about her ex because she's in a new relationship and you want a relationship that only includes you and her. not her ex :P

sincerly

your agony aunt :)

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