A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf has just broken up with me and i'm not handling it very well. I feel as if i'm slipping into depression and nothing seems worth doing. I truly loved this girl and was convinced that i wanted to be with her for life. When I used to tell her this she used to tell me that she'll never leave me. However, we went through a rough time where we had a few arguments (but nothing i thought was serious enough to break up over) and then she called it off. Now i feel really lonely and miserable and i don't have much motivation in anything i do. I used to be an extremely motivated person but now i'm a wreck. I've got so many things that remind me of her and i don't know what to do with them. There are presents that i bought for her that i hadn't yet given and i really dunno what to do with them. Every time i see something that reminds me of her I break down into tears, i can't help it. I really need help right now. Does this pain and feeling of loneliness ever go away? It's been a week since we broke up and every day of it has been a living hell. Please help me...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): it never goes away...I am struggling still after a year, I am crying right now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the support everybody. You have returned to me a certain degree of strength to get on with my everyday life. I wish all of u the very best and hope that anyone who's in the same situation that I'm in will obtain the strength to get through it. I really couldn't have got through this without u guys so once again, thank you very much.
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A
female
reader, lookingnice  +, writes (29 August 2007):
Hi, have you and your G/F thought this through completely? If not... you know what to do, call her, no tears, no acrimony. Just be strong and confident. If so... THE ONLY THING TO DO is to move on. Pack up everything that reminds you of her and drop it off at her/parents place. You have to be strong. From experience, the weaker you are/the more you cry – the less she'll want you. Be strong, be confident and truly belive that 'Life is for Living' and destiny is just around the corner.Try it. Seriously you'll see. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): Hey there. I am in the same situation than you right now and I do the following:1. Make sure I eat well.2. Do excersize even I don't feel like it. Walk or short jog.3. Make plans in your diary for the next two weeks that you are commited to (like works stuff or going out with friends).4. Remove any visual things that will stirr up those intense emotions.5. If you feel that awful wave of sadness come over you, let yourself cry and feel the pain.6. Stay away from alcohol or drugs.7. Do your best to pamper yourself and do other things that you are interested in.8. Think a lot about your relationship and accept that it wasn't meant to be and try and give up hope of a reconciliation.9. Know that time will pass and you will start to feel better at some point in time.10. Cross of every day that you "survived" on a dairy and know that with every consecutive day you will start to heal over. You do not have to go back and repeat the pain of the days that you have already crossed off.I know it is sh*t and I am crying with you mate! We will get through this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): Hi mate,I'm in almost the same position, me and my girlfriend of four years are on the Verge of splitting up... But neither of us want to feel the pain your going through...What your saying and feeling is exactly the way I start to feel when we split or argue etc but I dont have the stregnth to go through with it and actually split! Its so hard!But what I can say is if it was meant to be, it will be... You will find the right person, even if you think she was the one... There will be another, that loves you more!Just takes time mate... Don't worry about other girls for a while, just get used to being you. All the best!
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (29 August 2007):
 My best friend was in *Exactly* the same situation as you are now about 6 or 7 months ago. He was constantly posting up blogs about the same stuff - certain songs, items, random times of day etc etc.
It took him a few months but he finally did it and is happy again. I'll try and give you some advice which I picked up from his blogs through reading:
If you and her have a myspace and she's in your top whatever friends, remove her (Not delete, just put her back into your friends list) It may sound a rather harsh movement but whenever you sign on you won't see her again.
Don't check out her myspace (again, if you have one) as much as you would.
Don't read any texts that you've kept because that'll bring back memories and will emotionally hurt you.
If you carry on with your everyday life you will slowly stop getting upset so much.
Apparently it takes half the time you were with your "significant other" to finally get over it all. So say you were with her for a year?! It'll take 6 months to get over everything. It may seem a long time but if you continue doing the things you enjoy and pick up a new hobby time will soon fly by.
I can (kinda) understand what you're going through but good luck and I hope you get things sorted soon.
Pete =]
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A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 It's totally normal and ok to be so depressed after something like this. Put away as many things as you can that remind you of her. Replace what you can, even with temporary things, for now. Beyond that, let yourself "mourn" then end of the relationship. It's ok to be sad, and know that as bad as it feels, it won't last forever. It will eventually subside. Do you have any friends who you can reach out to for a distraction? If so, do it. Even just going out for a drive with a friend can help. A change of scenery, someone to take your mind off things even for an hour.
Good luck, and take care.
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