A
female
age
51-59,
*iffany345
writes:Right, what it is im 40 yrs old and with 3 kids, im seperated from my husband as i dont love him anymore.I have been in contact with this man on the internet, i live in kent and he lives in scotland so we are quite far apart...we have been chatting on the phone 3 times a week and chatting on msn every night..He told me that he had fallen in love with me and i have as well....we are going to meet this month but my feelings are very strong and he has said the same.My problem is that every other saturday, he will make an excuse that he's either going out to visit his sister or its his nieces birthday etc and always leaves at 9pm after we have finished chatting. Now i dont want to sound neurotic but i think he goes out with a mate and hits the pubs because at 2am that morning he will email me to say if im up or not......he's seperated and is 50 yrs old....but im getting pangs of jealousy that he might be drinking somewhere and he doesn't want to tell me because he knows i will feel jealous because of other women.....surely i deserve the truth though? Do u think i should confront him?Thank you
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jealous, msn, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (2 June 2008):
 i still think this is a bizarre conversation about someone you haven't even met yet ... you don't have a real relationship yet, until you've met him ... well, you do - you have a virtual relationship - but it's not the same as meeting someone in the flesh. Do that first, then decide if you want to be jealous!!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 I know what you mean. It's difficult to hold back when you have that gut feeling. Sometimes it's better though to wait and see if you get more evidence. You see, you kind of jumped the gun with your accusations. Now, you can't prove anything and no matter what, you're the one who looks wrong.
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A
female
reader, tiffany345 +, writes (2 June 2008):
tiffany345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPut it this way Eddie, i was going on my gut feelings...i dont know 100% if he lied but you know when something doesn't sound right? Maybe im too suspicious, i dont really know.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (1 June 2008):
Do you actually know he lied?
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A
female
reader, tiffany345 +, writes (1 June 2008):
tiffany345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice everyone. Can i just say to Eddie,that i dont have a problem with him going out to pubs, but why in the hell, lie about it? Surely i deserve better? He was the one who told me he was in love with me, so doesn't honesty and trust play a big part in that? I dont feel i was in the wrong here, why couldn't he have said he was going out for a drink instead of this fairy story he cooked up?
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (1 June 2008):
Wow, the you are not even together yet and the guy can't even go out for a beer. If I were him I'd run as fast as I could in the other direction.
Don't call it love yet either. Love is something that develops over time. What you are feeling is excitement and anticipation. Love is more than what you've got so far.
Take your time and don't be so jealous. It is really none of your business if he goes out or not. Why do you think it is your right to dictate where he goes? When you meet, establish a relationship and get to know eachother, you can then make some relationship rules. Even then, he should be entitled to some alone time.
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A
female
reader, tiffany345 +, writes (1 June 2008):
tiffany345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe came back at 1am in the morning and he mailed me straight away, i did confront him that he was going to the pubs and obviously he denied it, he said he went to his sister's house and stayed a few hours, it was his neices birthday...she was 26 apparently and he dropped her and her mates off to a club then quickly drove home to speak to me, i said i didn't believe him and we ended up arguing...i ended it and now im feeling sad.I dont have a problem with him going out, i just dont like the lies, i feel he is lying to me.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (1 June 2008):
I meant 'he's obviously very keen on YOU' !!!
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (1 June 2008):
Confront him? You haven't even met this guy yet - I don't think you should move so fast as to be considering yourself jealous etc already. I think you could playfully suggest that you know he's out 'up to no good' (jokily) on a Sat night, and that way you might get some info about what he's doing, but really, I don't think you should be getting so possessive so early. He's obviously very keen on him so you have to trust him. But also you can't expect too much yet, as you've never met him.
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