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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi there,At the moment I would appreciate someone else's thoughts.I am 18 (19 in Nov) living with my 19yo girlfriend in our own flat. My partner is 3months pregnant and I feel as if it's falling apart.First of all I love this woman as much as anything on this Earth and will be a proud father early next year.Whether it is my immaturity or my own paranoia, I find myself hard to hold on to a relationship that I so want to keep. I feel as if I’m pressured all the time to keep this partnership alive. Even thing i do is scrutinised if I don’t meet her expectations every little thing makes her angry (which i believe to be the hormones) she constantly tells me to pay more attention (which i find hard to solve). I try to listen to what she says but later if I ask for clarification on an event like date etc. she says "I've already told you" and that "I should pay more attention". So much so it really gets under my skin is I hold back any anger I have to say what I want to say. She constantly hurts my feelings by telling me that "I don’t care" slamming doors, storming out, silent treatment for days, no compassion.... and dare I say it no love.So what I want to ask (hoping this isn’t to long winded a post) is that does anyone have any suggestions?Any suggestions would be much appreciated.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (14 August 2006):
 You have to take into account that this girl is all over the place with hormones. My advise is to be more compassionate, give her all the attention she needs, be a little extra affectionate and try to understand the mental, emotional, pysical affects this pregnancy is having on her, especially as she is very young.
However, you do need to express your feelings and tell her how you feel. She may not realise that you are feeling this way! My suggestion is to ask her this: "What can I do that will help me understand what you are going through? How can I help you?" and of course reassure her that you do care and tell her how much you love her and remind her of the positive side of the pregnancy and what you are looking forward to.
If you get negative now it will not help either of you, STAY POSITIVE...help her to look forward to it like you are...help her see the brighter side of things and ask her to help you understand her worries etc as it sounds to me like she has troubles and cannot express them and this is her way of letting you know that she's not feeling good! Sit her down and tell her you want to help and that you are scared too but are also looking forward to all the good things.
The best of luck to you...keep me posted sweetie! xxx
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