A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am the 2nd sister of four and I believe my younger sister has secretely hated me over the years . I come from a dysfunctional home where we all had to be on our own at an early age , I had to go at 16yrs old . The sister that I thinks hates me had to be out with our younger sister at 13 and my younger sister was 11yrs old , they were sent to live with neighbours . I was on my own living with friends and later got an apartment . My older sister who passed away about 7 years ago never had to leave . As a chld I was not really close to my sisters , I wanted to be close with my older sister but our dysfunctional family prevented it . My two younger sisters are truley close . Because of our family situation I was not close to anyone but over the yearsI built up a relationship with my father . We were very close and eventually I became very close to my mother . Over the last 13yrs I tried to be close with my sisters and it seemed to be working over the years but I have noticed with the one sister that I think hates me my happy go lucky personality is a big problem for her . I have supported her and her children more than I can explain and she takes the help and acts happy but she constantly gets upset with me for things that not her business and everything I do upsets her . We went from talking 4 times a day all week to her texting a five word sentence every other month . I call her but she won't call she'll text ok or we are good and thats it . All my attempts to call and don't work . Everthing I do now and over the years is a problem even if it is helping her out . I don't know how to handle it . Suggestions please ...........
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female
reader, Less +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I grew up in a dysfunctional family as well. I was never really close with any of my family members and I just felt isolated and alone. But when I started to grow up I got closer with everyone in my family ;however, my little sister never liked me. I admit, I wasn't the greatest role model sister. I never really was there for her. Since she got along with everyone else I felt like I was never really needed to guide her. When I really felt like something needed to change between us I asked her if she liked me, and she said nothing, so I knew. I even asked her if she wished if I were dead, and she shook her head yes a little. From then on, I didn't hate her for what her thoughts of me were. All I cared about was trying to fix our relationship. You are her big sister, you have to show her you equally love her like how you love your father and mother. Be apart of her life and let her be apart of yours. Show her that you are willing fix your relationship.Tell her you love her. Tell her how you want to fix your relationship with her and make it sound positive. Do this for you and her. Please, don't get through to her with harsh words. Be sincere and let her speak her mind. You have to show her that you are willing to fix your relationship. Do sisterly things with her. Go shopping, share music, take a walk or something. In the final analyze if you do it right, your sister and you will be happy together instead of you being the only happy one. Believe me don't expect this to happen in a snap, its a process. Don't force or push anything. Now, me and my sister are the closest ones in the house. I love her so much and we can talk about anything now. We don't fight or resent each other anymore. Having good relationships with everyone in your life can really make a positive difference :)Good luck :)-Sophia
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 The first thing to realise is your sister doesnt hate you; its just your perception of her behavior.
She could be behaving that way because she may find it hard to show her true feelings (since she like you had a tough upbringing, and may have felt the dysfunctionality worser)
Therefore because of the initial dysfunctionality its difficult or challenging for her to be upbeat, when she's been through some hard times, like you have.
Im not making excuses for her!
it could be that she is in her self very unhappy and takes it out on you.
Its not your fault either; its something your sister is dealing with.
Your sister may have a hard time managing her stress, and showing emotions.
She may also have a different attitude to showing love than you do.
She might not be happy as you but dont lose heart.
I suggest that as you wish a relationship with your sister be patient with her and take a step back.
Of course if you help her you have a risk of being yelled at.
For info: I came from a dysfunctioning family to,
my brother (whenever things go crazy at home) takes his stress & yells at me bigtime/ blames me all the time.
(reading between the lines it is his one way of screaming for more love from me and how much he is stressed out.)
it can be daunting, but ultimately i do take a step back, take some space, know he's my brother and love him anyway.
Of course i dont put up with his behavior, but i can be patient, thats LOVE.
Its upto you how you move forward with your sister.
Goodluck!
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