A
female
age
30-35,
*arah2121
writes:Hey guys,I posted here a while ago regarding a break up with my bf of almost 3 years. This happened about 3 weeks ago. When he broke up with me he said he didn't feel the same way anymore. Anyway so I have been super strong and have not contacted him since. Within the first week he called me to check up on me and he said he still felt the break up was for the best. So after that I thought I would not hear from him again. Until last night he called me and we talked for like 2 hours just about our jobs and friends and what we have been up to. I told him that this time apart has make me realise things about our relationship that I didn't know before. He said he still loves me and misses me. He asked if I was happy and I said I'm happy with everything else in my life except this. I ask if he was happy and he said not really I feel sad and I don't know if I've made the right decision. He said can I call you early next week and maybe we could see a movie or something? I said okay. Im not sure if I should get my hopes up on this? We were together 3 years and we have never broken up before. We saw each other every day and I think we may have been suffocating each other.Do you think he wants to get back with me? How should I got about it?
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female
reader, chemar22  +, writes (23 May 2012):
Your ex boyfriend might have called it quits not because he doesn't love you, but relationships do become stale after a while if both parties aren't putting much effort into it. It's called becoming complacent. It just happens. Unless the spark stays alive, couples begin to take each other for granted. As long as he isn't dating anyone else, I would take it very slow. Let him do all of the contacting and planning when you see each other. Men want to be the pursuer. It also in a funny way makes them feel like you have more value because they actually have to try to win you over. Just don't always jump at the chance to be with him. Be busy at times (even if you really aren't) You don't want to seem overly available. Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 Well you can be hopeful, he is giving you good signals here that he's had a change of heart, and he wants to take you out, which is also a positive gesture. But be cautious. he left you so there was obviously something wrong going on there and that will need to be worked through, why he left you. He will also need to make it up to you, if you are to let him back in. Make sure he knows he can't just walk in and out of your life whenever it suits him. Either he's with you or he's not. Protect yourself from being hurt again, but give him a chance, because he hasn't acted badly, so he could be forgiven if he is prepared to put the work in. We all have doubts about relationships when we are with someone long term. But he has to make a decision one way or another. It won't help anyone if you start a pattern of breaking up and getting back together.
good luck
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